we woke up to Ben coughing pretty hard today and it is all rainy and cold out so we decided it was the perfect day to stay inside,rest and play.
Currently Ben is learning how to use the camera with Gary. Maybe he will be a photojournalist?
Thank goodness for the breakfast buffet!
So crazy I was excited to see chicken curry this morning, yes for breakfast because I have learned you need to eat what you like when you find it what ever time that is...
Back to play time for me
Lovin' my china boy!!!!!!
Peace
Nancy
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sometimes you get what you ask for but don’t get what you expect.
Sometimes you get what you ask for but don’t get what you expect.
Today we took a trip to the orphanage and the place where they found our little boy when he was 1 week old. It was not as I had imagined it. The first floor of the teachers’ dormitory in the middle school turns out to be a lonely uncovered stairway in a back alley. I was in tears when I returned to the van. I had pictured his mother taking him some place where he would be protected from the elements and safe. Like a corridor on a bench in the school building. He was in the area of the teacher’s apartments so he would be found easily but not exactly as I had pictured this scene at all. I was so grateful he was placed with us and that we were taking him away from all of that.
The orphanage was not what I had expected either. Post modern building of concrete and wooden doors. There is a colorful playroom with toys, it even included therapy equipment, but the gardens or outside play area was basically concrete with a bare basketball hoop and a lonely slide. I would not have called this a garden. They are very proud of the institution and yes that is a good word for it. The rooms are clean and decorated for the children, the nannies were obviously in love with the kids and especially Ben. They all wanted to hold him and love him and play with him. I was nervous when they took him from my arms that he would think we were giving him back but he was ok. His little friend Huai Yang An is 2 ½ years old and has not been matched yet even though he is on the waiting child list. He had a tumor removed they tell me and is doing very well no problems. I do not know if this was a real Tumor or a growth of some kind, it was at the base of his spine sacral/buttock region as they showed me his healed scar when I asked where the tumor had been from. They could not elaborate on what type and my guide is very poor at asking questions and translating for me to them. She was having conversations with the staff and not telling me what was said and not telling them what I said even when I asked her to translate for me! Very frustrating as a nurse and mother wanting to express gratitude!!
Yes Karen I gave Yuan Yuan a hug and kiss and told her mama and baba are coming as soon as they can.
Did I mention the driver got lost once we were in Huai an? Yes they did not bother to let us know or explain as he was making u-turns in the middle of busy trafficked bridges. I am grateful to be here now! Remember China does not use car seats for children so I was holding Ben tightly and had seat belted both of us together. The guide and driver just kept talking/ arguing in Chinese and we had to ask what was going on, which we surmised without her after the third turn around. All I could think was we just drove 2 ½ hours and are paying for this car service, do not tell me they have the old address and we will not be able to see the orphanage now. I just kept giving it up to God as I had NO control in this situation. After 20 minutes or so they finally got us there. This was very nerve racking. It was a gated driveway into a concrete landscape that lacked for warmth.
The staff then decided to take us to the location of the new orphanage which will soon be the largest in the province connected to a senior housing project. It was an active construction site that left me very nervous to have a baby anywhere near but we did the ooh and ah over the new construction that appears massive. When asked if there was any supplies we could get for them our guide kept translating that cash was preferred because they know what they needed. Very disturbing that even after we had told her we did not want to give money she would not accept that or assist in arranging to forward gifts/donated toys cloths to the center when they brought the next child down to Nanjing. Another reason we were not pleased with this guide! We ended up giving some money with the intention that this would go to medicine for the children, I truly hope it does, Since she kept talking about money to them we felt we were not able to walk away without offering a donation without looking poorly.
By the time we were done there all I wanted to do was return to the hotel. We had packed energy bars and snacks as well as formula for Ben so we told her to forget about lunch out, esp when she again went - Oh you don’t like Chinese food(we had been eating nothing but since we arrived and I really had to restrain myself from saying something I’d regret)
Originally she had told us very few children are adopted from this province in south china because this area is richer. As we drove thru Huai an it became very clear that this was not a rich city and not at all the same city we saw on the internet when we researched the area. There was a lot of construction, and poor living condition in the older building areas. Today she said this was a poorer area and that this orphanage was low middle in rating. Why does it seem she contradicts herself all the time??? I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. She now called the area northern china???
On the way out it was a refreshing change to be in the country side. My soul sighed relief when we were out of the city. I am not a city living type of person my being craves the quiet of the suburbs. It was nice to see another side of china, for the last week we had only seen sky scrapers and a few ancient areas. I expected to see more pagodas and what one sees on travel shows about china which I am sadly missing. It was so interesting to see the contrast between city living and country living, quite the country mouse city, mouse scenario. We were able to see farm regions and oxen, goat, ducks, sheep, etc. Our guide said many Chinese people prefer the noise of the city and city living especially the young people.
On the way home I just wanted to get here! Ben’s breathing was getting worse and I could here the secretions in his airway which I could not suction due to erratic driving and fear of hurting him if a sudden move happened I might jabb him with the bulb syringe (one I had acquired from my old peds nursing work not the silly ones with the big end that barely lets you get to the base of a nare). He fell asleep and never got his afternoon bottle as lunch so he was tired cranky and hungry when he woke up. We started on cherios hoping it would be only a few more minutes left of the drive. Then we hit horrible rush hour traffic that just stopped dead! Poor Ben gaged on a cheerio and between the mucus and the cough and the cheerio, well you can imagine what happened next all over me and my coat and him. Good the mucus was out bad he felt rotten and I was covered. The guide unhelpful. Now I was getting beyond cranky and just wanted to be back “home”. We got to the hotel and she is calling his name loudly and stimulating him and irritating him after I had calmed him down. I walked away from her and told her to leave him alone. When we got to the room and I was putting him down she was trying to get him to stand on his feet and be active. He was tired and still felt lousy I took him back and comforted him. She says he only wants to be held. Well yeah when she is around and bugging him…ok I’m still a bit cranky from this episode so I’ll stop here before it gets worse.
Ben became playful after we were back a while and is fine. I suctioned his nose a few times and did some reiki and reflexology for him. He had some congii for dinner after some mashed up bananas to settle his tummy. He went to bed late for him and is out like a light now.
All and all we have much to add to his adoption story from going and since the new large orphanage will open next year if we had not done this he would not know what this place was like by the time we come back on a heritage tour 13 years from now.
I can hear the traffic on the main street below now and long for the quite of our real home.
1 ½ days to Guangzhou we can do this…
She is arranging a trip to a park that sounds lovely tomorrow I hope it is a much better day than today.
Peace and love
Nancy
Today we took a trip to the orphanage and the place where they found our little boy when he was 1 week old. It was not as I had imagined it. The first floor of the teachers’ dormitory in the middle school turns out to be a lonely uncovered stairway in a back alley. I was in tears when I returned to the van. I had pictured his mother taking him some place where he would be protected from the elements and safe. Like a corridor on a bench in the school building. He was in the area of the teacher’s apartments so he would be found easily but not exactly as I had pictured this scene at all. I was so grateful he was placed with us and that we were taking him away from all of that.
The orphanage was not what I had expected either. Post modern building of concrete and wooden doors. There is a colorful playroom with toys, it even included therapy equipment, but the gardens or outside play area was basically concrete with a bare basketball hoop and a lonely slide. I would not have called this a garden. They are very proud of the institution and yes that is a good word for it. The rooms are clean and decorated for the children, the nannies were obviously in love with the kids and especially Ben. They all wanted to hold him and love him and play with him. I was nervous when they took him from my arms that he would think we were giving him back but he was ok. His little friend Huai Yang An is 2 ½ years old and has not been matched yet even though he is on the waiting child list. He had a tumor removed they tell me and is doing very well no problems. I do not know if this was a real Tumor or a growth of some kind, it was at the base of his spine sacral/buttock region as they showed me his healed scar when I asked where the tumor had been from. They could not elaborate on what type and my guide is very poor at asking questions and translating for me to them. She was having conversations with the staff and not telling me what was said and not telling them what I said even when I asked her to translate for me! Very frustrating as a nurse and mother wanting to express gratitude!!
Yes Karen I gave Yuan Yuan a hug and kiss and told her mama and baba are coming as soon as they can.
Did I mention the driver got lost once we were in Huai an? Yes they did not bother to let us know or explain as he was making u-turns in the middle of busy trafficked bridges. I am grateful to be here now! Remember China does not use car seats for children so I was holding Ben tightly and had seat belted both of us together. The guide and driver just kept talking/ arguing in Chinese and we had to ask what was going on, which we surmised without her after the third turn around. All I could think was we just drove 2 ½ hours and are paying for this car service, do not tell me they have the old address and we will not be able to see the orphanage now. I just kept giving it up to God as I had NO control in this situation. After 20 minutes or so they finally got us there. This was very nerve racking. It was a gated driveway into a concrete landscape that lacked for warmth.
The staff then decided to take us to the location of the new orphanage which will soon be the largest in the province connected to a senior housing project. It was an active construction site that left me very nervous to have a baby anywhere near but we did the ooh and ah over the new construction that appears massive. When asked if there was any supplies we could get for them our guide kept translating that cash was preferred because they know what they needed. Very disturbing that even after we had told her we did not want to give money she would not accept that or assist in arranging to forward gifts/donated toys cloths to the center when they brought the next child down to Nanjing. Another reason we were not pleased with this guide! We ended up giving some money with the intention that this would go to medicine for the children, I truly hope it does, Since she kept talking about money to them we felt we were not able to walk away without offering a donation without looking poorly.
By the time we were done there all I wanted to do was return to the hotel. We had packed energy bars and snacks as well as formula for Ben so we told her to forget about lunch out, esp when she again went - Oh you don’t like Chinese food(we had been eating nothing but since we arrived and I really had to restrain myself from saying something I’d regret)
Originally she had told us very few children are adopted from this province in south china because this area is richer. As we drove thru Huai an it became very clear that this was not a rich city and not at all the same city we saw on the internet when we researched the area. There was a lot of construction, and poor living condition in the older building areas. Today she said this was a poorer area and that this orphanage was low middle in rating. Why does it seem she contradicts herself all the time??? I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. She now called the area northern china???
On the way out it was a refreshing change to be in the country side. My soul sighed relief when we were out of the city. I am not a city living type of person my being craves the quiet of the suburbs. It was nice to see another side of china, for the last week we had only seen sky scrapers and a few ancient areas. I expected to see more pagodas and what one sees on travel shows about china which I am sadly missing. It was so interesting to see the contrast between city living and country living, quite the country mouse city, mouse scenario. We were able to see farm regions and oxen, goat, ducks, sheep, etc. Our guide said many Chinese people prefer the noise of the city and city living especially the young people.
On the way home I just wanted to get here! Ben’s breathing was getting worse and I could here the secretions in his airway which I could not suction due to erratic driving and fear of hurting him if a sudden move happened I might jabb him with the bulb syringe (one I had acquired from my old peds nursing work not the silly ones with the big end that barely lets you get to the base of a nare). He fell asleep and never got his afternoon bottle as lunch so he was tired cranky and hungry when he woke up. We started on cherios hoping it would be only a few more minutes left of the drive. Then we hit horrible rush hour traffic that just stopped dead! Poor Ben gaged on a cheerio and between the mucus and the cough and the cheerio, well you can imagine what happened next all over me and my coat and him. Good the mucus was out bad he felt rotten and I was covered. The guide unhelpful. Now I was getting beyond cranky and just wanted to be back “home”. We got to the hotel and she is calling his name loudly and stimulating him and irritating him after I had calmed him down. I walked away from her and told her to leave him alone. When we got to the room and I was putting him down she was trying to get him to stand on his feet and be active. He was tired and still felt lousy I took him back and comforted him. She says he only wants to be held. Well yeah when she is around and bugging him…ok I’m still a bit cranky from this episode so I’ll stop here before it gets worse.
Ben became playful after we were back a while and is fine. I suctioned his nose a few times and did some reiki and reflexology for him. He had some congii for dinner after some mashed up bananas to settle his tummy. He went to bed late for him and is out like a light now.
All and all we have much to add to his adoption story from going and since the new large orphanage will open next year if we had not done this he would not know what this place was like by the time we come back on a heritage tour 13 years from now.
I can hear the traffic on the main street below now and long for the quite of our real home.
1 ½ days to Guangzhou we can do this…
She is arranging a trip to a park that sounds lovely tomorrow I hope it is a much better day than today.
Peace and love
Nancy
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Nancy's view
Yesterday was a whirlwind of emotions.
A few bumps with the guide and figuring out formula proportions from a package all in Chinese. I could however figure out the correct proportion of medicine from the Chinese powdered medicine he is on for his nose cold and yucky junky cough. Please God keep us from having to go to the hospital! Language is still an issue even with the room service last night.
We had a good night he is such a good baby!
Gary is head over heals in love and so am I.
They asked if we knew he was special needs and if we still wanted him, Gary said look at his face how could you say no. Hmmmm there might be problems then if that's the case but YES we want him!!! The little bump is small and barely noticeable we shall ask the doctor if it can be observed or has to be removed from his left temple. There is solid bone around it so I am fairly confident we are not looking at the worst case scenario mentioned by the international doctor.
He was clingy to me today when we had to go back to the same location for paperwork.
He was probably afraid we were going to leave him. Once we came back to the hotel room he settled in again and played. Even had a bottle and lunch before falling asleep in the stroller in the restaurant. He found his smile while we were out at the restaurant and became my giggling boy I saw in pictures for so many months.
Unfortunately I had to play mean nurse and wake him for medicine (he has a cold with a wicked cough when he is due for medicine) which caused heck getting him back down for nappers but he is settled now.
He can throw a good cry and arch quite well when he wants to.
Amazing how attitudes changed around here after we received a baby. Now they are nicer to us, even brought lunch so fast I thought we were in a different restaurant!
We were getting looks and felt unwanted yesterday.
So Glad we brought the computer which I use when he is napping or asleep for the night. I needed that connection to our world when things got rocky here.
He is curious and amazing I just love him already.
It’s taken me so long to write this that he is beginning to wake from his nap.
Tomorrow we will travel to the orphanage to visit and see where he has spent his 16 months before we have come to bring him to America. We may also be able to see where he was left by his parent safely to be found and brought to an orphanage. These we think are valuable pieces of his history we will be able to share with him when he gets older which will add to his adoption story.
Happy 16 month birthday Luo Rui
Love Mommy and Daddy (aka Mama and Baba)
A few bumps with the guide and figuring out formula proportions from a package all in Chinese. I could however figure out the correct proportion of medicine from the Chinese powdered medicine he is on for his nose cold and yucky junky cough. Please God keep us from having to go to the hospital! Language is still an issue even with the room service last night.
We had a good night he is such a good baby!
Gary is head over heals in love and so am I.
They asked if we knew he was special needs and if we still wanted him, Gary said look at his face how could you say no. Hmmmm there might be problems then if that's the case but YES we want him!!! The little bump is small and barely noticeable we shall ask the doctor if it can be observed or has to be removed from his left temple. There is solid bone around it so I am fairly confident we are not looking at the worst case scenario mentioned by the international doctor.
He was clingy to me today when we had to go back to the same location for paperwork.
He was probably afraid we were going to leave him. Once we came back to the hotel room he settled in again and played. Even had a bottle and lunch before falling asleep in the stroller in the restaurant. He found his smile while we were out at the restaurant and became my giggling boy I saw in pictures for so many months.
Unfortunately I had to play mean nurse and wake him for medicine (he has a cold with a wicked cough when he is due for medicine) which caused heck getting him back down for nappers but he is settled now.
He can throw a good cry and arch quite well when he wants to.
Amazing how attitudes changed around here after we received a baby. Now they are nicer to us, even brought lunch so fast I thought we were in a different restaurant!
We were getting looks and felt unwanted yesterday.
So Glad we brought the computer which I use when he is napping or asleep for the night. I needed that connection to our world when things got rocky here.
He is curious and amazing I just love him already.
It’s taken me so long to write this that he is beginning to wake from his nap.
Tomorrow we will travel to the orphanage to visit and see where he has spent his 16 months before we have come to bring him to America. We may also be able to see where he was left by his parent safely to be found and brought to an orphanage. These we think are valuable pieces of his history we will be able to share with him when he gets older which will add to his adoption story.
Happy 16 month birthday Luo Rui
Love Mommy and Daddy (aka Mama and Baba)
March 30th Part 2: He’s 16 Months Old Today
The happy smile of a child can wash away all sadness and frustration. – Gary Frank March 30, 2010.
When Ben (currently Luo Rui) smiles at me he is the only thing that matters. If he’s smiling, the world is right. I have surprised myself with how quickly I’ve taken to this boy. I knew I would bond with him and all, but I thought Nancy would be numero uno, and I’d fall in after. Not so much.
Okay, so Nancy’s handling the medical, nurse, kid’s got a cold stuff, as well as the initial diaper changes, and I wind up being the consolating figure when Ben’s upset. But he’s getting used to the medicine dropper and getting his nose suctioned out. Kid snot is like super glue. He’s not crying as much. He is NOT into baths. Even standing in two inches of water set him off. I’m sure he’ll get used to it. At some point.
He was crying over something before and I picked him up and it was like a switch got flipped. One second crying, the next, calmness. Awesome, huh?
Does anyone have any idea what happens to a human heart when your 16 month old child looks up at you with his arms out-stretched? It is the power to make icebergs instantaneously melt. Blink. Gone. How do you not pick him up? You do. And then he clutches on to you with those little fingers like his whole world depends on you. Simply magnificent. Just as magnificent is his smile. It’s not just his mouth, but his whole face, and that smile radiates joy and love and security and comfort and trust.
We have him in a blue, feety PJ outfit with cartoon monkeys and bananas. You never think a human can be so freakin’ cute, but there he is, the human embodiment of cuteness.
Okay, reality check for those who think I’ve gone over the deep end. I know there will be times that his innate cuteness will save his life. That’s why God made him so cute, so later on, when he becomes Mr. Hyde to this cute Dr. Jekyll, we won’t . . . well, you parents know what I mean. And you know what, no matter how many parents told me one thing or another about what parenting is going to be like, in the end, it is a very unique experience that each parent goes through, filtered by their past and their emotions. Sure there are some common factors: diapers, teething, tantrums, etc., but then there are those times when everything people told me can’t prepare me for the experience. Just having him in our room is an amazing experience. I keep pausing and looking at him.
He napped too long and too late this afternoon, so getting him to sleep tonight was a bit of a challenge. He stood in the crib and pulled on the bars like a little criminal, and I laid him back down and told him to go to sleep in that lilting voice that’s so sweet as if we can lull the boy to sleep land just by speaking. He gave me the smile. I told him it wasn’t working and to go to sleep. A little less lilt, a little more parent. He got up again. It’s time to go to sleep. Less lilt. He looked curiously at me. What’s that tone? Never heard that before. Neither one of us have heard that tone. Parent tone. I laid him down and he sort of shuffled around, made some disgruntled noises, but eventually fell asleep. I never had to pull out the next repeat: Gotosleep. One word, no lilt, quick and somewhat sharp. Commanding, parental, authoritative. Or the final repeat: Go. To. Sleep. Now. No lilt, sharp, punctuated words so he understands the full implications of the tone. I can guarantee, cute little Ben will hear those words in those tones at some point in his life. We all do.
Tomorrow we’re going to visit his orphanage and hopefully, he won’t freak out too much, thinking that we’re bringing him back. But Nancy wanted to visit and meet his nanny, so we’re going. Five hour round trip and we have to pay for the van for the day. I think it should be pretty cool to see China between Nanjing and Huai’an.
Thursday is a free day and Friday is picking up his Visa and heading to Guangzhou for the final paperworks before we head home on the 9th!
I guess that’s all from here, reporting live from Nanjing, it’s Gary (the new dad), and his sleeping family, wishing you hope, peace, and joy.
Gary . . .
P.S.: If anyone’s planning to bring us take-out when we get home, a piece of advice: No. More. Fried. Rice. Evah.
When Ben (currently Luo Rui) smiles at me he is the only thing that matters. If he’s smiling, the world is right. I have surprised myself with how quickly I’ve taken to this boy. I knew I would bond with him and all, but I thought Nancy would be numero uno, and I’d fall in after. Not so much.
Okay, so Nancy’s handling the medical, nurse, kid’s got a cold stuff, as well as the initial diaper changes, and I wind up being the consolating figure when Ben’s upset. But he’s getting used to the medicine dropper and getting his nose suctioned out. Kid snot is like super glue. He’s not crying as much. He is NOT into baths. Even standing in two inches of water set him off. I’m sure he’ll get used to it. At some point.
He was crying over something before and I picked him up and it was like a switch got flipped. One second crying, the next, calmness. Awesome, huh?
Does anyone have any idea what happens to a human heart when your 16 month old child looks up at you with his arms out-stretched? It is the power to make icebergs instantaneously melt. Blink. Gone. How do you not pick him up? You do. And then he clutches on to you with those little fingers like his whole world depends on you. Simply magnificent. Just as magnificent is his smile. It’s not just his mouth, but his whole face, and that smile radiates joy and love and security and comfort and trust.
We have him in a blue, feety PJ outfit with cartoon monkeys and bananas. You never think a human can be so freakin’ cute, but there he is, the human embodiment of cuteness.
Okay, reality check for those who think I’ve gone over the deep end. I know there will be times that his innate cuteness will save his life. That’s why God made him so cute, so later on, when he becomes Mr. Hyde to this cute Dr. Jekyll, we won’t . . . well, you parents know what I mean. And you know what, no matter how many parents told me one thing or another about what parenting is going to be like, in the end, it is a very unique experience that each parent goes through, filtered by their past and their emotions. Sure there are some common factors: diapers, teething, tantrums, etc., but then there are those times when everything people told me can’t prepare me for the experience. Just having him in our room is an amazing experience. I keep pausing and looking at him.
He napped too long and too late this afternoon, so getting him to sleep tonight was a bit of a challenge. He stood in the crib and pulled on the bars like a little criminal, and I laid him back down and told him to go to sleep in that lilting voice that’s so sweet as if we can lull the boy to sleep land just by speaking. He gave me the smile. I told him it wasn’t working and to go to sleep. A little less lilt, a little more parent. He got up again. It’s time to go to sleep. Less lilt. He looked curiously at me. What’s that tone? Never heard that before. Neither one of us have heard that tone. Parent tone. I laid him down and he sort of shuffled around, made some disgruntled noises, but eventually fell asleep. I never had to pull out the next repeat: Gotosleep. One word, no lilt, quick and somewhat sharp. Commanding, parental, authoritative. Or the final repeat: Go. To. Sleep. Now. No lilt, sharp, punctuated words so he understands the full implications of the tone. I can guarantee, cute little Ben will hear those words in those tones at some point in his life. We all do.
Tomorrow we’re going to visit his orphanage and hopefully, he won’t freak out too much, thinking that we’re bringing him back. But Nancy wanted to visit and meet his nanny, so we’re going. Five hour round trip and we have to pay for the van for the day. I think it should be pretty cool to see China between Nanjing and Huai’an.
Thursday is a free day and Friday is picking up his Visa and heading to Guangzhou for the final paperworks before we head home on the 9th!
I guess that’s all from here, reporting live from Nanjing, it’s Gary (the new dad), and his sleeping family, wishing you hope, peace, and joy.
Gary . . .
P.S.: If anyone’s planning to bring us take-out when we get home, a piece of advice: No. More. Fried. Rice. Evah.
March 30th Part 1: A Stranger in a Strange Land
I took a walk today to feel Nanjing, to know the city we’re staying in a little better. There are a number of skyscrapers and a lot of neon like NYC (hey back there in New York! Missing ya!), and old and new buildings. There are a lot of shops at ground level with a few “take out” places where you go up to the window, place an order and get your food right there.
Almost every word is in Chinese. Surprised? Not really. See, Beijing is an international city where folks from all over the world come to, so the city itself is friendlier to foreigners. Nanjing is not international and if there are any tourists, they’re from other parts of China. When I said we might be the only non-Asians in the city, I probably wasn’t too far from the truth. We did meet another couple in the Civil Office who were also adopting, but a little girl.
I’ve never felt so “alien” as I did walking the streets of Nanjing. It wasn’t just because I could read the signs, but people I passed openly stared at me as if they’d never seen the likes before. Perhaps many of them haven’t. I would wonder how many people in the U.S. Midwest have seen Asians or Swiss folk on a regular basis.
I took some pictures, but when I realized I was the ONLY one taking pictures, I decided not to be too obvious. I didn’t want to have any run-ins with the local law enforcement.
If anyone out there is thinking of adopting or coming to China, please learn Mandarin. This is there country and we shouldn’t expect them to speak English (as nice as that would be!).
Dinner was room service, as it’s too frustrating to go out to a restaurant and deal with people that don’t understand English. My own fault, but even if we had finished our Mandarin course (we stopped about week four because of the flood one week and packing the next week), and studied the 8-disc CD set, we still wouldn’t have an easy time. We’d be better prepared, but as I’ve learned, people in Beijing have a different dialect than the people in Nanjing, and I wouldn’t be surprised if we ran into a completely different dialect in Guangzhou. Having a book of Mandarin is wonderful. I can ask all sorts of questions about a variety of subjects. I just won’t be able to understand the answers! We are very much looking forward to being home in our own familiar environment where people may mangle the English language, but at least we understand them!
Gary . . .
Almost every word is in Chinese. Surprised? Not really. See, Beijing is an international city where folks from all over the world come to, so the city itself is friendlier to foreigners. Nanjing is not international and if there are any tourists, they’re from other parts of China. When I said we might be the only non-Asians in the city, I probably wasn’t too far from the truth. We did meet another couple in the Civil Office who were also adopting, but a little girl.
I’ve never felt so “alien” as I did walking the streets of Nanjing. It wasn’t just because I could read the signs, but people I passed openly stared at me as if they’d never seen the likes before. Perhaps many of them haven’t. I would wonder how many people in the U.S. Midwest have seen Asians or Swiss folk on a regular basis.
I took some pictures, but when I realized I was the ONLY one taking pictures, I decided not to be too obvious. I didn’t want to have any run-ins with the local law enforcement.
If anyone out there is thinking of adopting or coming to China, please learn Mandarin. This is there country and we shouldn’t expect them to speak English (as nice as that would be!).
Dinner was room service, as it’s too frustrating to go out to a restaurant and deal with people that don’t understand English. My own fault, but even if we had finished our Mandarin course (we stopped about week four because of the flood one week and packing the next week), and studied the 8-disc CD set, we still wouldn’t have an easy time. We’d be better prepared, but as I’ve learned, people in Beijing have a different dialect than the people in Nanjing, and I wouldn’t be surprised if we ran into a completely different dialect in Guangzhou. Having a book of Mandarin is wonderful. I can ask all sorts of questions about a variety of subjects. I just won’t be able to understand the answers! We are very much looking forward to being home in our own familiar environment where people may mangle the English language, but at least we understand them!
Gary . . .
Monday, March 29, 2010
[Note from the "webgeek" Nanci - I posted out of order - this should have gone up first - apologies for any confusion]
Yesterday we left Beijing at 3 pm, taking a bus from the one terminal to the airplane. Luckily for all parties concerned, it had jet engines and not propellers! The flight was about two hours and other than a few bumps, was relatively calm. We were served roast beast on warm rolls and I discovered this:
I do not like to eat roast beast
I do not like it, I like it least
I will not eat it on a plane
I will not eat it on a train
And though some might call it a feast
I do not like to eat roast beast
Nanjing is not Beijing (Actually, Beijing isn’t Beijing. It used to be Peking (the northern capitol of China)). It was much harder to find dinner (for us at least) and the area wasn’t as well populated or well lit. We also felt like the only non-Asians in the city. Not many people speak English, and if they do, it’s quite broken and somewhere between us, translations easily get lost. We wound up at a Hibachi Steak House. I had fried rice and salmon while Nancy had Fried Noodles. Trust me when I say a papaya milk shake is not like the milk shakes in the U.S. It’s more milk (and not the kind we’re used to (probably goat’s milk or some other animal I usually don’t drink milk from) than shake and very little papaya taste.
Back to the room to relax, unpack, check emails and fall asleep.
There’s a rickety crib in our room. Although the hotel is most definitely a five star hotel, the room isn’t very kid-friendly. Very nice in a Modern Design Magazine kind of way: all edges and glass. Perfect for a curious 16-month old. As I lay in bed, I wondered if this was the last night of sleep I’d get until Guangzhou on Friday.
Speaking of last night of sleep, we go to meet our new son in two and a half hours! Holy cow! It’s still not completely real, though more so with the crib in the room. Are we ready for this? I suppose about as ready as any two Americans in China can be!
We need to find a stroller, even if we have to buy one of those cheap ones. This city isn’t kid-easy. I had hoped to be near a park, but there aren’t really any within walking distance, making it a challenge to go somewhere just to walk. Between the bicycles, mopeds, and scooters, not to mention all the cars, it’s not altogether safe on the streets. Last night, there were bicycles and scooters riding the wide sidewalks. Hopefully Nancy, our tour guide (not a representative from Holt) will have some ideas of where to go. We may have to take a taxi, but at least we’ll get to a park. Actually, our guide comes with a driver, so maybe he can take us to a park.
We’re off to lunch and then Nancy’s meeting us at 1:30 so we can get some formula and then at 2 we leave for our meeting. When next I write, I will be semi-officially, a dad. Once all the registration and adoption paperwork is felled out, I’ll be officially Dad.
Be well, have fun, and enjoy the ease with which you converse with the people around you!
Peace,
Gary . . .
Yesterday we left Beijing at 3 pm, taking a bus from the one terminal to the airplane. Luckily for all parties concerned, it had jet engines and not propellers! The flight was about two hours and other than a few bumps, was relatively calm. We were served roast beast on warm rolls and I discovered this:
I do not like to eat roast beast
I do not like it, I like it least
I will not eat it on a plane
I will not eat it on a train
And though some might call it a feast
I do not like to eat roast beast
Nanjing is not Beijing (Actually, Beijing isn’t Beijing. It used to be Peking (the northern capitol of China)). It was much harder to find dinner (for us at least) and the area wasn’t as well populated or well lit. We also felt like the only non-Asians in the city. Not many people speak English, and if they do, it’s quite broken and somewhere between us, translations easily get lost. We wound up at a Hibachi Steak House. I had fried rice and salmon while Nancy had Fried Noodles. Trust me when I say a papaya milk shake is not like the milk shakes in the U.S. It’s more milk (and not the kind we’re used to (probably goat’s milk or some other animal I usually don’t drink milk from) than shake and very little papaya taste.
Back to the room to relax, unpack, check emails and fall asleep.
There’s a rickety crib in our room. Although the hotel is most definitely a five star hotel, the room isn’t very kid-friendly. Very nice in a Modern Design Magazine kind of way: all edges and glass. Perfect for a curious 16-month old. As I lay in bed, I wondered if this was the last night of sleep I’d get until Guangzhou on Friday.
Speaking of last night of sleep, we go to meet our new son in two and a half hours! Holy cow! It’s still not completely real, though more so with the crib in the room. Are we ready for this? I suppose about as ready as any two Americans in China can be!
We need to find a stroller, even if we have to buy one of those cheap ones. This city isn’t kid-easy. I had hoped to be near a park, but there aren’t really any within walking distance, making it a challenge to go somewhere just to walk. Between the bicycles, mopeds, and scooters, not to mention all the cars, it’s not altogether safe on the streets. Last night, there were bicycles and scooters riding the wide sidewalks. Hopefully Nancy, our tour guide (not a representative from Holt) will have some ideas of where to go. We may have to take a taxi, but at least we’ll get to a park. Actually, our guide comes with a driver, so maybe he can take us to a park.
We’re off to lunch and then Nancy’s meeting us at 1:30 so we can get some formula and then at 2 we leave for our meeting. When next I write, I will be semi-officially, a dad. Once all the registration and adoption paperwork is felled out, I’ll be officially Dad.
Be well, have fun, and enjoy the ease with which you converse with the people around you!
Peace,
Gary . . .
Sometimes, you don’t know you’re ready to be a dad until your son is there in front of you. – Gary Frank. March 29, 2010.
Today was Our Family Day. Many adopting parents call it Gotcha Day, but that sounds more like you’ve caught something as opposed to finally meeting up with your son after 3+ years of waiting. Family Day.
We went to the Civil Affairs office at 2 pm, to pick our son up at 2:30. We were early. So was he. About 2:15, a couple of men came in holding a familiar looking baby. Our son, Luo Rui. We marveled at him, took our family picture, and went on our way to the supermarket to buy formula and rice. The supermarket didn’t have his brand of formula, as it’s one of the less common ones, but it was used by his orphanage, and as we were concerned about how finicky he’d be, we decided to look else where. We did manage to buy a Mickey Mouse stroller, animal crackers (for him) and chocolate somethingorothers for us.
At the supermarket by the hotel they didn’t have his formula, but I bought a different brand as well as a Coke. Nothing like a little sip of home. The Coke, not the formula.
So he’s not that finicky (yay!) and he’s here with us in the hotel. Aside from some tense moments with the formula because we forgot to ask our guide how to mix the formula and every word on the package is in Chinese, all’s well.
I discovered he’s so soft, soft as a . . . well, something that’s real soft. And, he sleeps like . . . well, something that sleeps really well.
He is awesome, an incredible little person. My son. I’ll tell you something: Long ago, when Nancy and I first started talking about adoption, I wasn’t thrilled with the idea. He wouldn’t really be MY son, not with my DNA, but someone else’s, not my genes . . . As I sit here now, it makes not one bit of difference that he’s got someone else’s DNA. He is my child. I’ve already calmed him down after Nancy gave him medicine that he did not like, without a second thought. Not once in all of this did I look at him and think, “He’s not really mine.”
Truth is, he’s a child of God, and we’re here to give him love, a home, and direction to be a kind, loving human being.
He’s already discovered himself in the mirror, though he reached for the reflection of a cup, trying to grab it. He stood up with a little help and figured out how to remove the “Do Not Disturb” sign off the door. And we’ve taken about 125 pictures of him. He’s sleeping right now, cute as the Dickens (assuming the Dickens were cute, that ranks pretty darn high on the cuteness scale).
Tomorrow it’s back to the Civil Affairs office in the morning for paperwork, and that’s it for the official stuff until Friday when we pick up his Visa and head to Guangzhou for all the exit paperwork. There, we’ll meet up with the other adopting families we met in Beijing. It’ll be fun to swap stories!
For anyone wondering, I am still with goatee. He was neither frightened, nor overly interested in my chin shrubbery.
Remember all those mixed feelings of uncertainty and doubt I told you about? Gone. I will be the best father/dad I can be and that’ll be just fine.
From China, with love and hope,
Gary . . .
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