Anniversaries have past...

Ok so how funny is it we both got some inspiration and energy to blog tonight??? I have not read Gary's yet so appologies for any repitition.

Anniversaries have past, but Ben has kept me too busy and tired to write before now.
4/29 was 1 month with our son
4/30 Ben turned 17 months
Coming up 5/9 1 month home
But 5/9 is also Mother’s Day!! The first one in 40 years I can celebrate for it’s meaning to me and not hide out or ignore. Apologies to my Mom for all those years I ignored this day beyond sending her a card. Even going to the card aisle was tearful back then.
This year may bring some tears for the grief of the past and the joy of the present.
We wish we could celebrate with those we lost last year but rejoice for who are still in our lives now.
Ben has had his first doctor visit with vaccines and was a champ. Then blood work at labcorp from the vein, traumatic! We will be going to the Clifton office from now on because Shaka was wonderful after we left the office by our home angry and frustrated from a few missed attempts. We do need to learn by his example once it was over he was a happy boy that morning, mom and dad had to let go a bit more. I was quite emotionally exhausted that day.
Ben is still on the cusp of walking, he holds on still to one hand mostly. We just got him a Thomas the train walking riding toy to help with that and for some more fun things to do outside.
He has 3 new teeth coming in! and is really just drooly and a little cranky. He is an amazing kiddo.
Sleep time is still challenging, Mom and Dad limit staying in the room to 30 minutes or he just plays on and on no matter how tired he is. He has begun doing his version of downward facing dog as he unwinds to go to sleep. We need to try and get that on video it is just too funny. At nap time we do relaxation breathing (Benson’s mini exercise) he may learn to count backwards before forwards…oops. Coordinating naps has been my biggest challenge to structuring the day. When he lets me, I do reiki to the bump that fluctuates in size on his temple. I am working in my holistic pieces to parenting as I begin to relax into momhood.
Tonight was the first time he cried when he got out of the tub instead on when he got in! He was having the best time splashing his dad till he was SOAKED! And playing with the lil boat and turtles.
I seem to be the only one who thinks he’s starting to look shaggy and could use a trim of his hair…I will manage this before his welcome party 5/22.
We have been going out and enjoying the unusually sunny hot weather. He has been to Harriman park for a picnic and to Hoboken for an art and music festival. Yes we have been adding to his culture. Gary has begun his music education, Beatles and Rush top his favorites…hmmm…dad isn’t influencing him much ya think?
He is doing well with grandma and will stay with her while I do a few things around the house. Ant genocide in the living room… ugh don’t ask it was a traumatic Monday for mom with flashbacks to college when under the couch was a moving mass ooh bug. YUCK!
Seems the cat spends more time in the pack and play than ben does. JAX you crazy kitty.

To end, our thoughts and prayers go out to the many families we know who are traveling this week to meet their children in hina. God Bless.

with loving kindness
Nancy

It's Been a While...

I really meant to keep this up, even if it was once a week. But here we are, almost a month since we've been home and Nancy's done a couple of posts and that's been it. So here we go...

Ben's adjusted pretty well to New Jersey life. It was rough for a day or so, getting him off China time (12 hours ahead) and onto NJ time. We discovered that a lamp in his room made the difference between sleeping through the night and crying when he woke up because he had no idea where he was. He'd spent 16 months in one crib and two rooms, and since March 29, he'd been in 4 cribs and two countries. That's rough when you don't know what's going on! Now, he's sleeping almost 12 hours a night. He just hasn't realized that he's not missing anything by going to sleep. He fights sleep to the point where half his body is asleep and the other half just doesn't know it yet!

He still eats anything we offer, though Swedish meatballs he can live with out. He does not like cold beverages and lets us know by taking a suck through a straw and promptly opening his mouth. Blah. Charming. Macaroni and cheese are big faves and easy to get at restaurants! Cheese (as in on pizza), however much as he likes it, doesn't sit well and creates toxic waste (if'n you know what I mean!).

For the last few weeks he has HATED bath time. As soon as his toes hit the warm water, the crying would commence, worsening when the washcloth came around. He'd start chattering after a while and that didn't help. Tonight, someone replaced my son with an exact duplicate who realized that bath time was awesome fun, especially when you splash the water and get daddy soaked. Oh yes, great fun. Worth a smile and a laugh. Bath time ended when we noticed he was "making bubbles" (know what I mean, say no more). Seems, ol' Benny boy loved bath time so much, he started crying when we took him out. Just can't win.

I'm sad to be missing the days with him, now that I'm back at work. Lucky Nancy, home all day, though I'm sure there are days she'd trade. He's a great kid, but even a 17-month-old (as of April 30th) has his limits. Like nap time, for example. Not big on napping.

He loves the Beatles (but who doesn't), some of the more keyboard driven Rush CDs, Bon Jovi, John Flynn, Gandalf Murphy, and Tom Cochran. He's not big on prog rock, but we're working on it! I think he actually likes rock music better than kids' stuff. Yay! Though there is Elmo and his singing of Elmo's world. Better than Barney, I suppose.

He likes watching a show called Yo Gabba Gabba. Or maybe I do and he just puts up with it. If anyone's seen it and knows where I can get that furry orange hat, please let me know. We try to keep him off TV for now as much as possible. He needs to interact, not stare mindlessly at a screen.

Ah, the beauty of the high chair. Nancy's discovered that Ben doesn't mind hanging out while she gets things done, which is good for her.

Me? I love his smile when I get home from work; it makes the day all better!

So that's all for now. The 22nd is his big Welcome to America party at the Bethwood, a local banquet hall that seemed reasonably priced. And otherwise, he's doing fine and so are we.

Hopefully, we'll start posting on a regular basis, so stay tuned!


Peace,
Gary, Nancy, and Benjamin . . .

what we need???

well many many people keep asking me/us what we need and depending when I am asked I truelly have no clue.
other times I say If I need it now I am running out and getting it so please bear with me if you caught me on a tired moment.
We have registered at Babies R Us for the sake of lagging brain cells and ease of use. Ben has some hand me downs from a wonderful friend so 18 month clothes seem taken care of, 24 month and up would work.
I have gone out and gotten a few things we truely needed and some things we will need duplicates for grandma's where Ben will be staying while mom works during the day. But we are not focusing there yet so much can change in the next 9 weeks mom is home. (9 weeks left ok not focusing there yet)

this is not a request for things only a place to look if you were asking about needs.

with loving kindness
Nancy

I’m sure everyone is eager for the first weeks report…

Gary is home so I have time to sneak on the laptop when Ben is awake and I am conscious enough to write coherently. By nighttime once Ben is in his crib sleeping I am quite exhausted. I am turning into a morning person for sakes of anything that needs much reading comprehension. Hmm this might bode poorly for studying for the holistic nurse certification. He sleeps well so if anyone wants to call in the evening no problem speaking is easier than reading or writing at that hour. So looks like up to 10p rule will be in force, not for the baby but just so you find me awake.

Ben got to see that mom has to cook now no more room service and that darn maid is no where to be found…LOL. He took the signs for do not disturb and please make up room from the hotel room he loved playing with them and I keep putting out that please make up room sign…darn!
Thankfully he likes his highchair so I can cook without worry of him crawling off somewhere. He can do this quite quickly I might add. Cleaning is more hit or miss and reorganizing after the flood will be completed this week when Daddy is home to help play or do things when Ben is awake. Mom is looking into the old fashioned playpen or play yards for safety and occasional ability to do something away from baby when needed. I’ve seen some we can use in the yard as well and since the river is back there this looks promising for some gardening this year.

Ben is sleeping through the night in his crib since Sunday night, he fusses some but not much. We are very blessed in that way. We are all back on NJ time.
Gary had to go right back to work but has taken vacation next week to have fun with us at home.
Ben and I are working on a routine for our day so it does not feel aimless and endless playing. The leap frog learning center has been a great addition to the play zone! Ben has his own cell phone already since his Aunt Christie showed him how to text he is a phone maniac…LOL. We discovered Sesame street is on too early for our interests and will need some DVDs for when Mom‘s energy fails around 4p.

He is standing well now and possibly going to be walking by next week since he has done a few push off steps to Mom when he is not tired. I need to find some grippy socks so walking is easer for him less slipping around. A visit to Strideright is planned for next week too once we chat with the pediatrician about walking shoes, are the white walkers still the best?

We visited Dad’s work this week and will visit Mom’s next week if all goes as planned. We went to coffee hour at my church last Sunday and will visit Grandma’s this Sunday. Grandpa and Aunt Kristen will be visited as well. So much already planned hopefully we will be able to do it all. House is my priority though once that is better I can relax more less things for him to get hurt on around.

Take care all we will occationaly post but mostly we will be playing with our son.

With Loving kindness
Nancy

Home, home again...I like to be here when I can

So to fill in my side of the rest of our trip, starting with Thursday . . .

In the morning was packing, last minute shopping, including three CDs (The Grace of Traditional Chinese Music: Pipa, a children's CD in Mandarin, and a Chinese CD by Jay (this disc was picked by the staff of the Red CD store when we asked for what was hot so we could let Ben hear what was big when we got him)).

Next, we were off to the U.S. Consulate to pick up Ben's visa. The other two couples that were leaving went with us along with one person from the couples who were staying. There are no chairs in the lobby of the consulate where Joyce (a tour guide, not a Holt representative) left us. We could not sit on the floor. A security guard made sure we were standing.

Finally, Joyce returned and we were off to the train station with Liz, Steve, and their son, Lucas, the couple from Harrisburg, PA. We'd travel by train to Hong Kong, then fly back to Newark the next day. It was good to have another couple with us, so we could all get through each stop together. As Nancy pointed out, there wasn't a lot of English at the train station.

Speaking of the train station. Ben experienced his first high speed stroller ride and, well, he loved it a little more than I would've liked. As the seating area wasn't very crowded, I ran through the area, pushing him in the stroller and he was digging it. More high-speed hi-jinx will inevitably follow.

The 2-hour train ride wasn't as exciting as I had hoped, as most of it was in the dark, though it was fun, as I don't get on many trains, and Ben was good and well behaved. We arrived in Hong Kong after eight, and by the time we got our luggage and found our next guide, Sam, it was close to nine. Then the 45 minute van ride to the hotel and was nearly ten. One interesting thing about the ride: As Hong Kong was under British rule for many years, all the vehicles have the drivers on the right side of the car, as opposed to the standard left side. Also, there are many double-decker buses motoring around.

Unfortunately, we were tired, it was late, and we had no time to explore. Then again, the Regal Airport Hotel was attached to the airport, so there really wasn't anywhere to explore within walking distance.

All I'll say about the period of time from midnight Thursday until 6:30 am on Friday is, never let a 16-month old sleep in your bed. Bad, very bad. The most amusing part of all this was waking up and finding Ben's head at my shoulders and his feet at Nancy's. 'Nuff said 'bout that.

Ah, the flight. Just to explain what happened at the airport in Hong Kong: There's a Starbucks about 50 feet from our gate. Nancy bought two waters and an orange juice for me. It turns out there's another security check between the gate desk and the airplane. WTF? So even if you buy water passed the first security check, you have to give it up at the second one. Your bags are rummaged through and your given a body pat down, shoes checked and . . . no, no cavity checks (thank you, God).

Can one honestly convey the experience of a fifteen hour plane flight? I think not. We're both sick. I think I have a pinched nerve right between my shoulder blades and when the moment's right (like sitting in an airplane seat for 15 hours), the pain crosses my back and goes down my right arm. Then add a sleeping 20+ pound child onto that, and it was just . . . well . . . I can't use the words I'd like to. Let's just say I'm glad it's over and I don't plan on doing that again for a LOOOONNNGGG time.

Note to self and others: Never eat anything identified by flight attendants (or anyone) as a meat sandwich. Please see a prior post made on the flight out when a similar thing was served.

The good news is, contrary to a friend's experience, Ben, for the most part, was extraordinary, given that he's 16 months old. He cried a few times, mainly because he was hungry, tired and confined. Otherwise he was fine. Oh, he also didn't dig the diaper change at 30,000 feet. Understandable. Who does, right?
My father, sister (Aunt Kristen), Nancy's mother, and Nancy's friend Christie. After video was taken (Christie), tears were shed (the new grandma), and hugs were shared, we packed the cars and headed home.

And here we are, Sunday night, trying to readjust to US, east coast time. I mean, it's 11:30 in the morning in China.

As much as I'm glad to be home, I miss the camaraderie we shared with the other couples, as well as room service! So as we close this part of Ben's journey, from Huai'an to Woodland Park, I want to give a shout out to those couples and their children, who made our China experience a wonderful time.

Steve and Liz and baby boy, Lucas
Bruce and Lila and their daughter, Aubrey
Emily and Matt and their son, Tyler
Ken and Lily and their baby girl, Gia
Peter and Joanne and their son, Dan
Sam and Mary Jane and their son, Noah

A million thank yous for being there for us and for sharing your adoption journey with us. The moments we shared were priceless, and I'm glad we got to know you all. Reunion in Nebraska next year?

Though this may be the end of this part of our journey, dear reader, it is merely the beginning of Ben's journey and ours with him. I'm going to keep posting (though not every day) and I'm sure Nancy will as well. Someone had actually suggested we write a book about our journey. Crazy idea, huh?

Thank you, readers, friends, and family, for inspiring us to share our story with you and for keeping us company along the way and a HUGE thank you to NANCI KALANTA for getting our posts posted since Google left China. You were our lifeline back home. All that's left is to make sure no one wakes the kid up and to post more pictures.

Thanks again.

Peace, Joy, and Much Happiness to you all,
Gary . . .

we are home take 2 and 3

Ok we are home take 2…lil man is asleep on the couch at 11a I gave up and got daddy because I was exhausted that cold he gave us is a whopper!
Of course for Gary he went to sleep within 30 minutes on the couch on daddy. I slept till @ 230p then got up thinking I need to not get out of whack for day and night again.
But our little boy here has been on china time all his life so it will take more than a few days to change this internal time clock.
Take 3 Sunday afternoon:
The most challenging part of this journey was definitely Hong Kong as far as language barriers are concerned. We left the hotel after a brief morning of purchasing CDs of children’s music, a pop album for him to hear what was popular when he was born and a Chinese classical set of lute music. Some memory and culture for us all. We boarded the Bus to go back to the consulate for the visa papers. After an hour we wondered why they didn’t have chairs in the lobby…not sure how much longer we were there but once we had the papers we were whisked off to the train station. Our guide stayed with us until we entered the boarding area. After that nothing was in English even as a secondary signage or message. We got up to get on the train when everyone started moving and showed our tickets to the attendants hoping we got on the correct train. We also neglected to ask if this was a one stop or local to know when to get off. It seemed like we were making stops but no one else got on or off really. When the train stopped and everyone got off so did we. Nothing said Hong Kong we went through immigration and got our bags and hoped our guide would be outside. Sam was luckily and Liz the other mother and I were grateful to hear we had indeed made it to Hong Kong. The kids had napped during the day but were tired. It was a 45 minute van trip to again get to a hotel. We checked into an amazing modern hotel and did not have anytime to explore as it was already 10pm. We got the crib shallow and rickety and room service. So at 12a we decided he had to sleep in the bed. He was very unsure of this whole idea. He looked at the crib and at me but if I tried laying him in the crib it was a cryfest again. Then it was inconsolable crying in the bed. I finally propped myself up and had him lay on my chest, he drifted to sleep in fits and starts and all his bony parts were pressing on me so that I could not sleep. If I tried readjusting there was crying again. I finally adjusted him so that I was more comfortable and he was asleep enough to not freak out. By this time it was 4am and I had a whole 2 hours sleep before our 15 hour plane ride. Needless to say with the cold and lack of sleep I was not doing so well Friday morning. I found a homeopathic remedy I had packed and that settled my nerves thankfully. Daddy got a little more sleep but I was the one to bring him onto the plane. We checked out earlier than the guide had suggested and made it to the gate without stopping for breakfast with 5 minutes to boarding. Thank goodness for the paranoid moms’ who did not want to be left behind missing our flight we chose to get the day started so early. We stopped after the security check to get water at a Starbucks right by the gate for the kid’s formula. After spending 52 Hong Kong dollars on 2 bottles of water and an OJ I was told that I could not take it on board! I was livid. I tried pleading that the child had not eaten yet (he was barely awake when we checked out still in PJs) but even for his formula they would not bend the rules. We had to wait for take off and leveling out for beverage service even when I asked a stewardess for water as soon as it was available for the baby’s formula. Again I was not pleased by this customer service. We did manage to get water after a while and Ben was asleep by the time the meal was served. He was awake for the “snack” which was not really very good grisly meat and soggy pita. I gave him a little because he needed to eat but then tossed the rest. Gary and I both opted for power bars instead of that mess. It is not a good sign when the stewardess does not want to tell you what they have for you. I asked 3 times to find out if it was ok for baby then Gary had to nearly grab her to get an answer. Poor baby he slept through the last meal as well. I had snacks and gave him 2 bottles during the flight when he woke up. He slept in short spurts and was passed between us as he wanted or we could manage. He did much better!!!!! On this flight THANK GOD!!!!!!!!! I had brought him in and we went to the window to play and see what was going on outside. He did ok a few periods of frustrations and crankiness but nothing like that first flight.
Poor Gary had a blistering headache and pain in his shoulder for the flight that caused him to be able to sleep.
When we got off we followed our travel companions through immigration and customs. We hugged and said goodbye, Liz has promised a June party for everyone who can come that will be nice to see how the kids have developed in the 2 plus months we are home. When we left them we found our welcome home committee and there were hugs and tears and so much happiness as the sleepy boy was adored by grandma, grandpa and Aunt Kristen and Aunt Christie. Grandpa had decided to bring all his presents and filled his trunk. Hmm where were the suitcases supposed to go? Well after some exhausted negotiations and redirection it was worked out. The men went back to exchange the last of our Chinese and Hong Kong currency and girls went to fix the car seat. After a bit of readjusting the seat was set and Ben was ok with it no fuss. I was surprised.
The boys got home first and there were balloons and a it’s a boy sign at the house waiting. Thank you my neighbors. The girls were a bit later getting home due to a turn around on 78.
We let Ben check out the house and open presents from Grandpa, Aunt Kristen and Great Grandma and Grandpa. He was asleep by 7pm I thought we would be home free after getting into the crib he would sleep the night. NOT… up at 930p but I was barely able to pat his back I was so exhausted. Gary took over and I slept. Ben was back to sleep by 1230a until 430a when I got up. See the beginning for the continuation there.
I think we are caught up Ben has been sleeping in 4-5 hour spans and is completely off his game. I have to find a crib activity center to help and grandma brought a lamp for his room. I am hoping to coax him back into a crib by tonight/tomorrow. He is currently asleep on the Living room floor. We made it to 1:30p today after going to coffee hour at church. Everyone loved him and his smiley presence.
I think I’ve adapted well to the time change but my days on night shift have a lot to do with that. The only thing making me tired is Ben’s sleeping pattern and my cold now.
Gary is beat and I hope he will be able to sleep tonight so he can work tomorrow this is the bummer of tax season.

peace
Nancy

we are home

Ben is on the floor playing with his new construction truck his grandpa gave him yesterday as I try and type this for all of you who have been eager to hear of our adventures leaving china and coming home. We have been up since 4:30am when Ben started crying and threw off and out his quilt from the crib. You have to see this quilt to understand why I was so shocked he got it all the way out it has airplanes and is so big it covered both of us as I tried to get him back to sleep resting on the couch when after 30 minutes on the floor of his room (rocker is currently covered with stuffed animals) did not put him out like a light. Another hour of restlessness on the couch then mom decided he was probably hungry since he had oatmeal at 530p then asleep by 7p.
Ben is trying to Put his 2 cents in here now. Why did I show him how to type the other day???2q1wq `1q2wq ` `
1212q21`121 ``1 `
GTHYE6BHXCTGFdrdesasedAZ3QE
Ok I th9ink I’ve distracted him with the cheerio container . Lord I can’t remember who gave that aunt Kristen or grammy. This is what happens when yuou open gifts in total exhaustion.
A oh here he comes again…12
221q2w` ewq2we3wew
1 OK WELL IU TRIED TO GIVE YOU YOUR MORNING FIX BUT THIS ISN’T WORKING MORE LATER HWEN THIS LIL BOY TAKES A NAP PRAY HE DOESnot HAVE HIS DAYS AND IGHTS TOO MIxED UP FOR TOO LONG

love & hugs
nancy

My apologies for not posting anything yesterday, but I was SO tired. It was a busy day from taking Ben to his first doctor visit (we got medicine to kick this cold of his), to the zoo, to the riverboat cruise, and finally “home” to the hotel.

The zoo was hot and moist and most of the animals were off sleeping, especially the cats. But anyone with cats knows they spend 80% of their time sleeping, anyway. There was a panda and he was awake, so we got a few pictures. I don’t know if Ben understood what he was seeing, but at least we have the memories. The llamas were more up close and personal (including licking my hand), so I think he had a good time with them.

This was not the Guangzhou Zoo; this was the smaller zoo with less animals, but after a couple of hours of walking in the steamy place, I was fine with the smaller version. We did, of course, buy Ben a panda bear (stuffed).

This was where the cold started. Yes, I have Ben’s cold. Awfully nice of him to share, right? Nancy’s getting it as well. Should make the flight home awesome!

We got back to the hotel with plenty of time to change and shower before the riverboat cruise. We had Papa John’s pizza for dinner. But for a few spotty, rainy moments, the cruise was great. We were on a replica of a dragon boat (see photos), a three-level affair complete with wooden stairs, dining room, and an upper deck which afforded us a great view of the Pearl River and the buildings that line the river.

Back to the hotel and I fell asleep. A cold and a long day out will do that.

The ride to the doctors and the zoo afforded us a view of some really interesting architecture, though I didn’t have my camera out for the doctor’s visit, I got some great shots on the zoo ride. I’ll post them shortly.

Today was another busy day, though less exciting. The morning was the exit meeting, where I learned what happens between now and landing in Newark (we’re really going back to the U.S. of A.? Wow…). Customs and Immigration and Visas, oh my.

This afternoon was the consulate visit and oath-taking ceremony, where we, along with 31 other couples and their children, took an oath that all the paperwork we’ve filled out is true to the best of our knowledge and ability. This makes us official parents. Bwa-ha-ha. Between the ride and the waiting, it took about 3 hours for all that.

We went out with 2 other couples (our last dinner in China) to a Cantonese restaurant, as Nancy thought that would be fun. There’s a saying ‘round these parts: The Catonese will eat anything with four legs except chairs and tables. Or two legs or more than four legs or even no legs. The chef’s Double Delight was some kind of worm and bug dish. Some kind of larva and worm thing. We did not order that. We did order a noodle dish, a rice and shrimp dish, a steak dish, and a pork dish. Steve was brave enough to order pigeon, or more properly, rice with pigeon meat. I tired it. Surprisingly unremarkable. But at least I can tell all the folks back home I had pigeon. At least it didn’t look like it did when it was alive!

And here we are. Tomorrow we leave by train for Hong Kong after picking up Ben’s visa. Liz and Steve, and their son Lucas, are coming with us all the way to Newark, so we’ll have another couple to get lost with! Then they’re taking another plane home to Harrisburg, PA. Fifteen hours and thirty minutes. That’s how long the flight from Hong Kong to Newark is. We leave HK at 10:30 am on the 9th and get home at 1:30 pm on the 9th. Back in time.

It’s been quite an adventure, though it’s not quite over. Once we’re home, I’ll sort through the 1,000+ photos and put more up in the Yahoogroup and also on the blog. Sorry I didn’t do a photo-a-day, but I thought of it too late. Don’t worry, there’ll be plenty of photos coming!

So how’s it feel to be a father? It was a lot smoother when I wasn’t sick. Trying to fight a cold and deal with a 16-month-old ain’t fun. But there will be more colds along the way, so I best get used to it. His smiles still warm my heart, and as scared as I was about being a dad (more than a father), right now, I’m digging this.

The other night I said, in my best Darth Vader impression, while he sat in my lap and I held the back of his head in my palm: Ben, you shall do as I say. You will listen to me as I am your authority figure. Benjamin Rui, I am your father.

He smiled and laughed. Yup. He’s my son.


Peace,
Gary . . .

A giggling smiling face can make everything right in the world. There is nothing better and I MEAN NOTHING than to see our little boy smile and giggle. He can brighten a room without lights.

It took him about 3 days to find his giggle again and now it is infectious. (not like his cold that Gary seems to have now caught- darn kid germs)
He is still sleeping soundly Ben not Gary. LOL

We found adorable boy squeaky shoes with what looks like a power ranger on them.
He discovered if he kicks his feet he can make them squeak and what a giggle that caused.

I’m sure once he is walking more we may want to opt out and take the squeaker out of them but for now it is cute. One of the boys who is 3y and runs a lot has them too. I think it is good you can tell which way he went with those shoes on.
Today we have the exit meeting and oath ceremony and some time within there I need to go do last minute shopping and packing! Yikes even with the extra suitcase (carry on size) we may need some prayers to make this all work. I plan to pack one small one for our overnight in Hong Kong and then the carry ons with an extra outfit for all of us on plane day in case something bad happens. Also I know there is a group of people meeting us at the airport most likely with a video camera so I need to clean up before they get me on film as I appeared the other night…picture it screaming child in airplane 2 hours, lap seat (that would be my lap), calmed by eating muffin-face first, runny nose everywhere, hair pulled out everywhere, and mommy at her wits end near exhaustion. Hmmmm that was only the 2 hour flight that interrupted nap time. Prayers folks I need Prayers to make it through the 15 ½ hour flight home with our adorable munchkin! Pray he does not turn to his evil twin for the plane trip.

It’s grey again. I can’t wait to see some blue sky and sunshine! I hear the weekend at home is supposed to be nice and that is a blessing because if I came home to more rain…YUCK!

Sunshine will at least assist getting rid of the jet lag.

Parks and fun stuff planned once we are functional.

I had thought we would crave pizza but we have had some here and a very good Italian meal the other night so I think it is going to be Blimpies sandwiches on wheat rolls. Everything here has been on white bread…yuck. And not quite right when it comes to sandwiches. I want a real deli sandwich piled high! Oh and real cheddar cheese…

Not sure where we will go to eat Italian place again or try the Cantonese restaurant before we leave.

Gary has to work on the Monday we return since it is tax crunch week. So we already are planning an outing to visit daddy for luch that day to ease the transition back to work.

Plans and more plans will be formed to fill my 10 weeks home which I’m sure will fly by but I intend to make the most of this time we have together at home!
House wife and mom for 10 weeks this will be something new for me.

Love to all Nancy

They tell me it’s Tuesday

Without a whole lot to do it is very disorienting being on a 2 week vacation/adventure to bring home our son.

We are nearing the end

Tomorrow we have the oath ceremony where we pledge to care for him etc
Then we get ready, pack and Thursday we pick up his visa to leave china and enter USA as a citizen

Thursday we will likely not be able to blog much after early morning since we are packing leaving getting visa and taking a train to Hong Kong
Not sure when we will be posting after that

Today was a full one

The cough that has lingered and the nasal congestion that changed to green were better but we still went forward with the doctor visit just to make sure before we were traveling by plane for 15 plus hours
The western doctor was very nice and very good he spoke English and listened to Ben’s lungs all clear no wheeze no pneumonia, checked his ears YAY no ear infection
But he felt 3 days of antibiotic to clear this out before travel was really a good thing to do
And it’s a drug I recognize now!! Zithromax for 3 days plus a decongestant expectorant to get the last of the congestion out before we travel

So I was not over reacting we did need to be there

We came back and asked about a day trip since the threat of rain canceled the safari park
One of the mom’s said there was a zoo closer than safari and they arranged a van for 4 families who really needed to get out of the hotel for something other than shopping

The zoo was ok animals were not as well cared for as the American zoos but we did get to see our Panda bear and Ben was happy with that. We got him a stuffed panda toy to bring home as a memory of the trip. Gary got to pet some llamas too. Very exciting.

We decided to do the river cruise tonight as well to get out of the hotel. We are so glad we did. That was a lot of fun and Ben was checking out all the neon lights and tall building and bridges. We were on the Dragon boat which we see from our hotel window.
At check in one other family told us the river view was pretty and that side of the hotel more quiet so we requested that along with that family. That view, is great we see all the boats cruise along day and night and the cargo ships float on by.

So today was a very packed day

Ben napped only 30 minutes on 2 of the car rides and he went to bed after a bottle pretty easily when we got home. If I catch it right he will play with the beads on the crib and then just lie down and go to sleep without a fight.

Gary thinks he night be starting the cold Ben has and he also fell asleep really fast after we got back to the room.

I’m staying up awhile longer or else you know you will find one of those 5 am blog spots
Take care everyone we shall see you shortly

Love Nancy Gary and Ben

So I’ve been getting reports from NJ on how gorgeous it is there warm dry sunny. This does not match with what we have here. It is warm enough to go without a jacket but damp and foggy each morning and drizzling rain on and off. Today was supposed to be safari day but it is raining with a threat of thunderstorms so once again we are stuck to the hotel and missing a fun outing. We are actually going to see a doctor about Ben’s cough today since I tried stopping the “flu” medicine after the medical check as they suggested and he sounded worse I went back to the medicine but I’m not sure he is suppose to be on it more than a week and I will run out of it before we leave here. It’s been over a week for this cold and though he is better it is not gone yet. Wish I brought the stethoscope to listen to his lungs…nurse mom’s are the worst at this right?

Well yesterday we discovered that if we crawl on the marble long enough the inevitable will happen. We will smack our head really hard and get an egg. Luckily after a longer duration to calm him thab usual, he only had a small bruise, thanks reiki. He was a little groggy at breakfast and nurse mom was thinking oh no not a CT scan in China! Also thinking they are going to look at us with his big egg on his head and say “what have you done to this child!”

Ok if this place caterers to kids so much why are there 2 large areas of hard marble flooring? The carpeted area is smaller and we tried playing a bit on the bed yesterday but then you know the risk in that with the active toddler who throws himself around without conscious awareness of their surroundings. No he didn’t fall of the bed but…

Yes I am a bit of the over protective mommy. He is the first and I’d like to leave china without a tour of their hospitals thanks so much.

We spent time in the playroom yesterday and he was definitely warming up to the room and amount of activity from the older kids. He started crawling around to find stuff on his own so this is a good thing.

Earlier bedtime since the Tea buffet went until 530 and we weren’t hungry enough for a restaurant meal. At bed time he was so tired last night he could barely hold himself up and still wanted to play. Some how I got him in the crib with a toy and a little drama but not much he fell asleep crumpling a paper (low cost toys he loves to play with paper). Still sleeping now and so is Gary. I actually slept 8 hours without waking to check baby breathing as much tonight. YAY!! What will I do when he is in the other room and I can’t just roll over and look in on him? Maybe sleep better once I get used to the monitor???

Ah well new mommy syndrome I know.

Can’t remember if I blogged or Gary did about the shopping extravaganza at Jordan’s yesterday… Many many purchases. I discovered I should have gotten some of the things peddlers were pushing on the street of Beijing as they are more expensive here or not found, like postcards. I had to go to 3-4 shops to find just one set so I will send some to family and friends if I can remember all the addresses oops forgot the address book at home…oh crud well maybe just a few will be sent then for the China postmark.

Overall a good day, I need to stop being critical about some things and just enjoy the last of this trip though it is nearing on 2 weeks now and I long for our softer bed mattress and comforts of home.

With Loving Kindness
Nancy

Here we are, Monday night. Ben actually got to bed with a minimum of fuss around 8:30Yahoo!

Today was another gray day, as it’s been since we landed in Nanjing, back on the 29th. All but one day was gray, and that was the day we flew from Nanjing to Guangzhou; it was sunny then. I was able to see downriver where the cargo cranes stand ten stories high and in the light fog looked like giant spiders.

We went shopping at Jordon’s today and bought a LOT of stuff. Gifts, statues, toys (including a Ben 10 doll (a Chinese cartoon about an urban hero that saves the poor from the evil people)), good luck knots, and a new suitcase to carry it all home in. Jordon did a calligraphic picture of Ben’s name, the Chinese characters and what they mean. It was very nice of him, and I recommend stopping in if you happen to be in the neighborhood. Tell him Gary, Nancy, and Ben sent you. We went around to Michael’s Place to pick up Ben’s chop; it’s beautiful. We also bought him Power Ranger squeaky shoes that squeak when you walk. He’s not walking yet, but they were too cool to pass up. The squeaker does come out when it gets old, so that’s good news! We went to the film store to have the stone etching done, which we’ll pick up tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, we were supposed to go to the Guangzhou Zoo and Safari Park, but it looks like it’s supposed to rain. On top of that, Nancy wants to take Ben to a western medicine doctor to have this cough/cold checked out. I hope we don’t pay a lot of money to have the doctor tell us he’s sick and keep doing what we’re doing. Hopefully, he’ll get some medicine and we’ll be on our way. If it’s not raining, I’d still like to get over to the zoo to see pandas, but we’ll see. It would’ve been a nice break from this hotel and the local shops, all on streets under construction. Either way, I’ll get over to the CD store and see what they’ve got.

Today was the Red Couch Portrait. Imagine the scene: seven couples trying to get their new children, ages 14 months to five years old to sit still on this red couch, long enough for the parents to take photographs of all of them. Ever try herding cats? That might be easier. If one child cries, the next one starts, then the next, another child seems uncertain if they should cry, and . . . you get it. In the end, the mothers held their babies and many photos were taken.

Next we all went down to the observation area overlooking the waterfall in the hotel for a huge family photo. The Holt staff took pictures with everyone’s cameras. Then it was off to High Tea, something the hotel ahs in the same areas as their buffet meals. Here, a buffet is laid out with food and plenty of gorgeous, delicious desserts, and tea. It’s free, unless you want something to drink other than tea. If you’re at the White Swan, find out about it and go; it’s worth it.

We spent some time in the hotel’s playroom, playing with all the kids and having loads of fun. I took a lot of pictures of the other families and their children, so we’ll be sharing them around.

And that was about it. We’ve been back at the room over since. Ben was in play mode for quite a while, even though he was big-time tired, and many smiles and giggles were had and given. I love making him laugh and smile. It’s like looking upon the face of an angel. It will also hold me over through those times when his Hellboy persona comes out.

Another couple of days and we’re outta here. As much as I love Guangzhou and the people we’ve become friends with, I’m ready to come home. A gent I work with, Brian, said after a while, you get tired of hotels and going out to eat, and you know what, he’s right. Usually, I’m all about the staying over and going out, but when you have a child and you don’t have a car, and you’re not overly familiar with the layout of the place, going out to eat twice a day can get burdensome. Also, when we get home, we’ll be back surrounded by our stuff, our friends and family, and get where we want to go when we want to go.

Though it’s not over yet, I can say we’ve had some incredibly memorable times from our first experiences in Beijing (which means northern capital) to meeting our new son for the first time in Nanjing (I thought we’d cry, but we really didn’t (we were so excited and overjoyed)), to being with our new friends and their new children here in Guangzhou. We have so many pictures of Ben and our travels, some of which I’ll put up on the blog, so stay tuned. In the mean time, keep posting those comments; we enjoy reading them when Nanci sends them to us.

Be well, have fun, and we’ll see you soon!


Peace,
Gary . . .

Communiqué: To Home Planet

Communiqué: To Home Plane
Mission: World Conquest
Reporting: Captain “Dribbles”


Day 485 of existence on this plane.

I apologize for not contacting you sooner, but there has been a change in living arrangements, and I am concerned the mission may be compromised. When last I sent you a communication, I was at the institution near where I was discovered. The plan had been to turn the locals into minions and begin world domination. This had been going quite well. The attendants at the quote, unquote, orphanage were bending to my dominant will. Though they might be giants, they were easily taken with my cute (I’m doing air quotes here) looks and adorable (air quotes again) giggle.

Last week (Human time of 7 days), I was taken by two giants in one of their transports into the city, a drive of substantial time (around 2 human hours), and brought to one of their governmental constructs called the Office of Civil Affairs. There, without any consideration for my mission, nor any attempt to inquire if this was agreeable with me, I was turned over to two other giants, one female and one unusually small male. At first, I took the male to be in his early teens (again, another human time comprised of at least 11 earth years), but it turns out he’s much older, older than my caretakers.

Please understand that this was not of my doing, nor did they allow me to have any say in the matter. I know the mission is now in jeopardy, but at this time, there is little I can do. For the most part, the giants treat me well, better than the institution staff, feeding me regularly, changing me regularly, and playing with me as if I was one of their human babies. At times I am amused, but other times I am quite sad that this has come to pass. There are very few potential minions, as I do not see other “children” my age on a regular basis.

If that wasn’t bad enough, they are taking me around in one of the most archaic transports I have ever experienced. It has no engine, tiny wheels, no exterior covering for protection against the elements or impact, and it needs one of the giants in order to propel it. A terrible waste of energy and resources. I long for one of our hydrogen powered hover mats, but while on this plane, it is not to be. Perhaps when I can manipulate their tools, I shall construct one, and mock their foolish archaic transports!

They are asleep right now and I have gained access to what I hope is one of their technologically advanced communication devices, although it is primitive by our standards; I am actually having to typing this with my tiny fingers, instead of communicating it to you via intuitive wave transmissions.

The worst aspect of this situation, is that when they believe I should be tired, they put me in a wooden, padded jail, enticing me with thick wood wheels on dowels installed on the walls of the cell. And I fall for it every time.

Understand, that I try my best to gain their sympathies by crying as loud as possible while throwing myself around the padded cell, not with the intent of hurting myself, but to have them pick me up out of the cell. But these heartless giants do not take me out! They leave me in there, crying until I exhaust myself and fall asleep. They say they cannot give in to my tantrums or it will set a bad precedent.

No, this is not good at all. How can I carry out the plan of world conquest, when I’m stuck in what they call a crib? I tried using my digestive system to corrupt their food substances, which would elicit a highly toxic by-product from what is colloquially called my arse. It worked, the substance was mildy sentient as it left my body. The unusually small male shrieked and acted irrational. Just I was beginning to think I could subvert their will, the female came and calmly handled the situation. Foiled again.

The giants are beginning to stir, so I must return to my padded cell. Tomorrow I go to visit one of their medical institutions, as I have become infected by their stinky germs. Speaking of stinky, I think my digestive system is still corrupting their food.

Until I can send another communiqué regarding the mission, it is best to maintain radio silence. Tonight, someone radioed me and I had to convince them that I spoke, how did they call it, baby babble (air quotes one more time) in order to deceive them and keep them from understanding my mission. Tell those geeks and nerds back home to stop asking me what the girls are like and if anyone still reads Alfred Bester and Isaac Asimov here. I have no idea.


Coincidentally Yours,
Captain “Dribbles”

P.S.: It is my understanding that more giants will be arriving in the coming month to take more of “us” back to their land. Perhaps all is not lost.

Don’t point that thing at me; it could be loaded!

More on that shortly.

First, Happy Easter and a belated Happy Passover!

The breakfast buffet is absolutely yummy: scrambled eggs, French toast, assorted breads, fruits, chicken nuggets (waaaaay better than those Chicken McDeadlets), pasta, turkey and chicken sausage, and more. Speaking of yummy, in Nanjing we had to teach our guide the difference between yummy and yucky; quite amusing. Today, we discovered Ben LOVES yogurt shakes. He wiped out 180 grams of a blueberry yogurt shake, in his bottle, in mere minutes.

Easter service was a very nice bilingual service. Ben was great and didn’t fuss much at all. I wound up standing almost the entire service, as the church was packed to the point where people listened to the service outside. Ben got a chance to nap, but unlike previous years, I did not. Just kidding. Mostly.

Tyler’s birthday party was unfortunately winding down by the time we got out of church, but we managed to have cake and wish him well. Three years old.

Jade and Pearl Shopping Trip. I admit, I should’ve stayed home for this one. It was a market place where almost every vendor had the exact same thing. They don’t speak English, so you can’t really talk to them about price or quality, and the only way to haggle price is to pass the calculator back and forth. They put a price, you shake your head, they put another price, you shake your head, they give you the calculator and you give them your price, then they give you their lower price. Back and forth until either you agree or walk away. Haggling was never my thing. As almost everything the vendors had were pendants, and anything else was very high priced, I didn’t buy anything. Nancy did, and as she was happy with her purchases, who am I to argue. The most fun I had was listening to all the women tell me how beautiful Ben was. He’s gonna be a heartbreaker. Watch out girls!

Neither one of us did much browsing at the pearl marketplace; it was similar to the jade market with endless vendors with endless pearls. I took a few photos just to give an idea of what the place looked like. Then it was back to the hotel.

We picked up our laundry from Michael’s Place, three embroidered prints, and something called a chop, which is a two inch column of stone that’s a stamp of Ben’s name in English and Chinese. At the top is his birth year animal: a mouse. This is a great shop with all kinds of gifty stuff. We may go back for some other things. We’ve got Jordan’s to check out tomorrow, so we’ll probably spread the wealth between the two shops.

We had dinner at the world-famous Lucy’s. I had pan-fried noodles with chicken, carrots, onions, and chili and a couple of glasses of pineapple juice. Nancy had the Assorted Satay (chicken, pork, and beef). Ben had a healthy helping of my dinner. Bad plan . . . see first line, more in a moment. We discovered Ben has no problem using a straw. Sometimes I think he knows how to do everything, if we’d only give him the chance. Kinda scary and wonderful at the same time. We all split apple pie a la mode (vanilla ice cream) and another one scoop of chocolate. Maybe that was the bad plan.

We met another couple, who we’ve seen around the hotel and today at church. They’re from Denver and were very nice to talk with. Nancy gave them our card to keep in touch. On that thought, I want to write up all our Holt couple’s names, kid’s names, and emails so we can keep in touch afterward.

Then we walked around a bit and headed back to the hotel. As Nancy wrote, bath time was relatively painless. Bath time was standing naked (Ben) in a two inch pool of water and getting a washcloth bath. He got his hair washed as well, which was not his favorite activity, but, as it hadn’t been done in a while, it was time.

Disclaimer: If you are easily given to nightmares or acute sensory awareness from other’s descriptions, you may want to skip this bit. I’m a writer and this is a very graphic paragraph. Do not read if you’ve just eaten. You have been warned!

Okay, here’s the part you’ve all been waiting for: the relevance of that first line. Nancy was on the phone with her mother, wishing her a happy Easter, and Ben and I were playing on the marble tile floor when he got this odd look on his face and suddenly brown ooze was seeping out from under him. Luckily, he only had his diaper on, but it gave me an awful start. Do something! Help me! Help us! Nancy, meanwhile, is casually saying goodbye to mom as this seeping mass is growing larger. Pick the baby up or leave him? I don’t wasn’t him sitting in that foul mess, but I don’t want him tracking it elsewhere. I know what it is, but I don’t know why it is. Obviously, something we fed him did not agree with him, but I was too busy keeping feet and hands away from the oozing puddle of noxious stink.

Nancy says: What do you want me to do, he has to get it out, there may be more. MORE? Good God, the kid’s turned toxic. I was not built or wired to handle such a stinking hot mess. Although I now very CLEARLY understand the meaning of the phrase Hot Mess. As a matter of fact, it has way new meaning. I could not imagine my cute, adorable, smiling angel becoming ground zero for the worst stink I’ve ever had the fortune of smelling.

Nancy finally helped me clean him up, which was me holding Ben while she removed the offending diaper and wiped him down. My comment on all this? Ewwwwww.

That done and a new diaper on, he went about his way until I heard the gentle bubbling that I knew was another round of explosive baby butt. I have discovered the downside of parenting. I know there will be more episodes which may overshadow this one, but for right now, this ranks as the number one downside event.

While cleaning him again, Nancy held his butt up to wipe him, and I uttered the line: Do not point that at me, it could be loaded. Luckily, it was not and we cleaned him up again (see above for process) and sent him playing.

Suffice to say we both had an awesome laugh, Nancy called her mother back to apologize and explain, and all ended well.

Tonight’s tantrum was a mere six minutes and he was down asleep. Yippee!

He’s still awesome, and he’s still cute, and when he smiles, nothing else matters. He’s a keeper.

Tomorrow (Monday) is a mostly free day, so we may do some shopping for him, and stop at Jordan’s to get his etching, a picture of him etched into stone. Yes, it’s touristy, and yes, it’s one of those things parents do, and we’re doing it.

Until next time, be well, have fun, and remember, even diapers can be lethal weapons.


Peace,
Gary . . .

There is a Going Home Barbie in my room.

Mattle sponsors the playroom here and gives all adopting parents a present of a Barbie that is holding a little Chinese baby. How sweet is this! Me thinks Ben is going to have to fight mommy for this one.

Well yesterday had its ups and downs and we still prefer to fall asleep on mommy or daddy and not in the crib but we are working on that.

He had a short fit then fell to sleep, about an hour later he was restless and tossing in the crib again it is narrow with wooden bar and he has a great ability to whack into them quite easily. Well he took one turn and crack/scream he whacked his head something awful. The cry changed from frustration to owwwww and mom picked him up. Dad gave me a look but this was different then get me out of here. He was back to sleepy unconsciousness within minutes. (not bad unconscious it startled more than hurt I think and just sounded awful.) What am I going to do with this little mister?

He wakes up as bad as Gary very slow and cranky. Currently he is in my lap as I try to type. He woke up crying and I took him out thinking our day was beginning but he was still quite sleepy and is struggling to figure out how to open those cute curious eyes of his.

The boys could sleep and sleep but here is mom up after 5-6 hours of sleep each night.

Gary wants to go to church today to experience the bilingual service. This should be interesting on many levels as Ben is less than 1 ½ and restless….

Wish me LUCK

Happy Easter everyone and to those who celebrate Passover I am sorry I forgot to wish you well last week.

One of the little boys turns 3y today and they are having a little party today for him after church. I’m going to try and sneak out to get him a little something because what’s a birthday without presents???

There are tons of shops around here to bring home memorabilia for Ben. They do stone engravings as well which are lovely!

I get to go shop for Jade today that should be a fun mommy activity.

Later tonight …

Well this never got posted because it was a bit chaotic this morning getting showered, dressed and out to breakfast with Sir Clings a lot.
It was a sleepy kind of day until we needed to go to bed tonight of course.
Church went well even though it was 1 ½ hours at least he fell to sleep 45 minutes in and slept close to an hour. We were late to the birthday celebration since church was so long. The service was quite lovely with the children’s choir involved and string orchestrations.

It was the quite music during communion that finally allowed him to sleep.

The Jade market was not exactly as I had pictured and I had a bit of a hard time finding things I would like and possible gifts. The last vendor had the best price if you haggled really well. One of the mom’s gave me some tips and I did much better with him. I did not pay initial asking price for any of the pieces, even without her help. I found a pendant that was green jade with the symbols for mother and son for me and a very pretty eternity pendant of purple jade. Though purple is not as sought after I think it is beautiful.

The pearl market was huge. I did not get anything here as I have necklaces from my grandmother and mother in law. No need for additional pearls.

We went to dinner early hoping for an earlier bed time but that plan did not work out so well.

We had our second tub bath and by the end even with hair washing we were ok and giggled a little with the bath toy. So that was a really good transition.
Unfortunately …well…we had something that did not agree with our little system today and mega diarrhea occurred after the bath. Poor Gary was playing with him and I was on the phone wishing my mom a Happy Easter when the diaper overflowed. Gary had his first truly at a loss dad moment. What can you do but wait until the episode ends to change it really. Thankfully they were playing on the marble floor area so no carpet mess. After everyone was cleaned up, I could not stop laughing, at the absurdity of the situation. Exploding butts…well after the stink clears what else is there to do but clean them up and laugh about it. Wish I knew what caused that gastric reaction??? He had Benadryl as a test run for plane day about 20 minutes before this and did not go to sleepy due to diaper issues until over an hour later. I’m thinking Benadryl is not so great for creating sleepiness in this kiddo so I’ll pass on it for the flight.

He was barely able to keep his head up but refused sleep until I put him in the crib and he cried for 6 minutes then out like a light close to 9:30p…bummer I was hoping for 8-830 max but sometimes our best laid plans just don’t work out.

Peace to you all
Nancy

Someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny.

I thinks some of you know where that line comes from, and it seems rather apropos as we sit in our hotel, ready to go home, but having to hang out here another week.

So good morning, New Jersey. April 3rd and we were off to take care of Ben's medical check-up in the morning and then assorted important document filling out and preparing in the afternoon. The check-up went quick and because he's under 2, he didn't need the TB test. A blessing.

After the visit, we decided to check out a park nearby. What a difference from Nanjing. The people we met were friendly, most smiled (mostly at Ben), and were over all pleasant. Given how many adopting couple come through here, the locals are used to it. There were a lot of folks out kicking around a shuttlecock (like as in badminton, but larger) much the way "kids" kick around the hacky-sack (is that even a noun?). I even got a kick in, which drew laughter from the older folk. It was wonderful to see many elderly people out, playing, doing Tai Chi and being a part of society. Of course, many pictures were taken.

Back at the hotel it was grilled chicken sandwiches from The Deli. Turns out there's a CD store between the hotel and the café, so I'll be stopping for a few CDs before I leave. Also, there's a men's clothing shop, so I may stop in there, as I saw some shirts I liked.

Can you believe there are places that do your laundry for you? These aren't laundry shops, but stores that must have washers in the back. So I brought all our dirty laundry over to a place called Michael's today and I pray it's not some astronomical amount like 1,000 Yuan (or RMB as they call their currency). To do the math, just multiply our dollar times seven, so that something that's 70 RMB is $10 US dollars. Makes life easy.

The afternoon was paperwork and planning for our little group of couples for the rest of our stay, including a group dinner tonight at La Dolce Vida, an excellent Italian restaurant owned by an Italian chef. I think we're going to the Guangzhou Zoo and Safari Park on Tuesday if the weather's good. Looking forward to seeing Ben see his first panda (there are 10 at the park).

Here we are, 11:23 pm. It's the same, only in the morning in the eastern US. Good mornin' to ya!

If anyone's looking for a good read in the science fiction/fantasy/urban fantasy genre, check out Simon Green's Nightside series. I just finished book 1, Something From The Nightside, and really liked it.

The view across the Pearl River is awesome, especially at night, when the neon's lit. Even the ferries have streaming neon lights.

So Ben's taken to tantrum's before falling asleep. Tonight's was around nine minutes before he fell asleep. It's a tough balance to know what's sadness over his transition, the uncertainty of waking up in a strange place, and just plain crankiness, fighting sleep. We try to figure it out, but it's not so easy. Is it best to let him cry it out? Comfort him with the potential to set a bad precedent? We play his quiet time CD that we sent to the orphanage, but it doesn't always work so well. Next we'll try Rush and see if that works. If not, there's always Dylan; he puts me to sleep.

He's a great kid otherwise, full of smiles and curiosity, eager to learn and play. I'm glad he's ours and I can't wait to come home to show him off to y'all. I'm somehow in full daddy-mode without trying very hard. I had no idea it would be this cool. Granted, there will be bad moments, but that's part of life. Easy to say now, when things are pretty calm!

In the meantime, it's time for bed. Tomorrow is church, lunch, and then the pearl and jade shopping expedition. If the price is right, I may be coming home with a small (tiny?) jade dragon. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Hope all is well with alla y'all. We'll talk to you and see ya soon!

Signing off from the White Swan Hotel, Guangzhou, China…
Gary . . .

After a very difficult travel day yesterday with a seriously over tired baby whose naps were consistently interrupted and a plane ride from … well you get the gist. We are here in Guangzhou and the attitudes are so friendly it is like coming to paradise.

We got in late and were completely exhausted last night so we opted for room service again and were concerned what the options might be. WELL…we had Penne with tomato and basil sauce, French onion soup and Crème bruelle! A feast after the slim pickings of the last hotel. I am in heaven. The food arrived on a rolling tray you may see in movies, the food was keeping warm underneath in a warmer compartment and after I consumed the food I realized they had even dressed the table with a rose in a vase. I kept that after we returned the tray to remind me we are in a far better place now.

Ben totally loved the pasta so transitioning to western foods will not be a problem. He cried in his sleep last night I think because he woke up and didn't know where he was. I reached out from the bed and patted him and told him he was ok in my semi-unconsciousness hoping he was not hurt as I could not open my eyes unless may be there had been a blood curdling yowl. I pulled the crib closer and patted him till we were both asleep again.

The crib here has some beads on the side to play with and this is how I tricked Ben into the crib to "play" until he finally gave in to sleep between 11p and 12a last night. This morning's awakening was difficult and trying to get him to nap this afternoon again was a cryingfest but only for 5 minutes by that time he was soooooo tired and wanted to fight it or to be held constantly. I'm trying not to get him into the habit of holding while he falls asleep so our home life is not more difficult than need be. I know he can go to sleep without being held endlessly he did the first few days. We show him enough lovin when awake he does not need to be held till he nods off. Travel days are different and make the regular days difficult until we get back into a routine.

I'm kinda tired of having to play mean mommy but I know it is really a better thing to set this routine up now.

This morning they had us up early to take care of the medical check due to a new holiday the clinic was having limited hours this week. Visa picture were taken so just paper work left. On the way back from the medical clinic we walked around a park which was a lot of fun we saw people doing what looked like hackysacking but with an object that had a feather and firm base called a shuttlecock. Ben was enthralled watching it fly back and forth. Needless to say we purchased one for his memory box and eventually he'll play with it I'm sure once he is a bit bigger. What surprised me was the amount of older adults who were having a great time with this activity. There was the expected Tai chi practicing and some people singing and dancing. The park is a very entertaining and friendly place. What a change from Nanjing we are grateful to be here and expect this week to fly by.

Ben has something to say...

$S$dQEW6ycfggthgvgvbbn kob ngnbbmki 6yxxxxxx65;

I'll keep this one short; I'm tired.

Plane trip. Ben's first from Nanjing to Guangzhou. The plane was delayed one hour, so a longer wait in the airport. We got on the plane and Ben started screaming. Not crying, but screaming. Oh God, I thought, not two hours of this. Guess what the people around us were saying? Oh God, please not two hours of this. He did stop after a while. He hadn't had his morning nap and was Mr. Crankypants. He fussed during the ride and cried a bit more, but finally fell asleep on Nancy. Needless to say, Nancy was not a happy camper.

Then the car ride from the airport to The White Swan hotel. As we got in at 7 pm instead of 5 pm, it was dark and we couldn't see much. We met two other couples from Beijing, which was wonderful. You find, after a week of being mostly unable to communicate with people, finding English speaking people is wonderful. No offense to my non-English friends.

For dinner we ordered Penne with Tomato and Basil, French Onion Soup and Vanilla Crème Brulee. Stunning and awesome. It was SO great not to have friend rice again. I'm sure we'll do one more Chinese meal or two before we leave, but I'm not in any rush to see another grain of fried rice.

While we were waiting for dinner to show, we pulled out some Cheerios for Ben and the most astounding thing happened: he fed them to me. My son fed me Cheerios. He is so awesome.

The crib is just fine with a couple of toys on the crib itself. Ben had no problem being put in his crib to play and one second he was awake, the next, he was down asleep. A beautiful thing considering last nights 30 minute tantrum. I'm sure there will be a few more of those, but when he goes to sleep easily, it's a wonderful thing!

Speaking of sleeping . . . it's time for me to get to bed. Tomorrow we have a family photo and medical check-up. I'm going to find out if there's any time and anywhere we can go to see pandas before we leave. I think Ben would really love it. I know I would!

Peace,
Gary . . .

Nihao.

Today was a rainy, stay-in day. Ben Rui is still with a cold and as it rained almost all day, we stayed in our room, venturing out for breakfast.

The excitement today was getting our guide to ask room service for fried noodles (in the US it’s called lo mein). We got two plates worth and it was a beautiful thing. This was the highlight of the day.

The low light, the ultra-low light came at Ben’s bedtime, when he didn’t care for the plan to put him in his crib, even though he was exhausted. How much didn’t he care? 30 minutes of squirming around the crib with an awesome crying tantrum. I’ve seen time crawl at work, but this was some kind of magic to get 30 minutes to feel like several hours. And the crawling/squirming thing . . . quite fascinating to watch. Head at the top, feet at the bottom. Head to the side, feet out the other side. Head at the bottom, feet . . . where are his feet? How’d they get . . . there he’s off again. Head at the top, crushed in the corner, feet all over the place, arms flailing, voice wailing. Good God man, make it stop!

We agreed not to give in and pick him up because as soon as we’d put him down, he would probably start all over again. Nancy tried this theory and it proved true: she picked him up, the crying ceased. She put him down, the crying commenced. So we let him cry it out. Not the most pleasant thing to do in a hotel, but as it was only 7 pm, we figured no one would be sleeping. When he finally fell asleep, the silence was deafening, but golden.

Otherwise, we spent the day playing with him, watching him figure things out, and getting him to smile. We fed him, changed him, fed him some more, and changed him again. When I say we, I mean both of us. I’m fine changing the “pee diapers”, but the “poo diapers”? Not so much.

So it turns out little 16-month old Ben can fart with the power of a hurricane. Good God. And I was kneeling behind him at one point. You know . . . things like that shouldn’t happen to anyone. Watering eyes, burning nostrils . . . the works.

It’s 10 pm and we’re mostly packed for our trip to Guangzhou. Hard to believe that although we’ve waiting for this day, it’s almost upon us. It’ll be Ben’s first time on a plane (heck, his first time anywhere outside of Huai’an or Nanjing) and I’m hoping the two-hour flight goes smoothly. At least all he has to do is sit there and be wheeled through the airport and onto the plane. We have to juggle a ton of stuff we’ve never had to, including feeding him, changing him, keeping him amused, getting the stroller on the plane as a carry-on, dealing with cabin pressure changes to his little ears, and other things I haven’t thought of. Fingers crossed that our “guide” can help us get through the airport with a minimum of difficulty. Our last guide told the check-in person that we were overweight because we had stuff for a baby. This time it’ll be a bit more obvious. I can only imagine wheeling the stroller with the carry-ons while holding the baby under one arm.

So this is it. Our last night in Nanjing. Our next stop should be another 10 degrees warmer and much more adoption friendly. When next I/we write, we’ll be at our final destination before heading home. We get to meet up with the other families we met in Beijing and exchange “war” stories of our time in the provinces. I can say with a degree of certainty that the next time we’re here in China, I want to have a much better grasp on the language. More than hello, thank you, and excuse me.

To all of you who have put up comments, xiexie. To all you faithful readers, thanks for keeping us company on this magical mystery tour!


Peace,
Gary . . .

P.S.: Ben is still awesome, cute, and very intelligent (just so you don’t think I’m forgetting the new dad essentials!).

Both my men are asleep as I type this. I can hardly believe it is travel day already. I know I have been hoping and praying for this day to come but it felt like time warped last night and here we are. After the little man's screamingfest for 30 minutes last night he slept through the night solidly. His breathing was so good I had to get up a few times to check on him because I could not hear him over Gary's snore. He'd probably say the same about me but some how we are all able to sleep in the same room. I can't wait to be home with Ben in his own room it should make sleeping easier and yet possible harder as he has always had others in his bedroom. The orphanage had 6 cribs per room I believe.

Thanks to everyone who has commented on the blog or sent emails that connection to home has been vital as we felt so isolated and unwanted here in Nanjing.
Today looks to be a sunny dry day and I am glad for that on a plane day but am sad we will not see the parks that sounded so lovely and fun. Gary looked at the schedule for Guangzhou and realized we may not have time to go to the safari park as we had hoped. We really wanted to bring Ben there and get to see a giant panda ourselves.

Lots more paperwork is coming but we have the adoption agreement translation notarized now and his birth certificate. Once we receive his passport today with the family photo on it (awwww) we can leave this city.

Packing was a little frustrating but I think we are ok. Hopefully only one bag may be over weight. I may be having to lug it off the conveyer since Gary has been having a pain in his shoulder when lifting things. Wish me luck baby is making the arms stronger but he does not weight what that RED bag does, not by ½!
This will be a new experience traveling by plane with a child. How do you go through security? I suppose I'll carry him??? Stroller on xray machine??? Well we shall find out soon enough we will leave 1230p. Did we mention the umbrella stroller we found here is the cutest? It has a Mickey mouse sports design.

See you all soon love Nancy

It sat at the edge of my breakfast plate, pink and raw, waiting, waiting.

It sat at the edge of my breakfast plate, pink and raw, waiting, waiting.

The issue of sushi doesn't come up in every day conversation. I mean, why would it right? No one ever asks, How are you? You eat sushi? Unless you're an Asian fisherman or sell sushi as a day job. I digress.

Along with the rest of breakfast, a pretty pink cylinder of sushi sat at the edge of my plate this morning. I had seen a similar thing in Beijing, but couldn't find the right moment to give it a try. Today was that day and I'll tell you, it wasn't bad. Pretty good as a matter of fact. I can't say I'd make sushi a regular staple of my diet, but I'll probably go back for more.

Today (Wednesday) was the 2½ hour drive out to the orphanage in Huai'an, another "city" in the Jiangsu Province. I'll state right here that I'm living in the moment, here for the experience, good, bad, disappointing or otherwise. You really have to live that way so you won't miss the interesting things in front of you while you're disappointed because something else wasn't what you expected. See where this is going? You've probably already read Nancy's bit from today, so I'll give you my brief perspective.

It was a white day. Gray clouds hung above us all day, draining the color out of the world and made the orphanage more haunting than it probably is on sunny days.

The ride was long, but the scenery has added to the world-building I'm doing for this new (dystopian society) novel (series?) set on an alternate earth where the main city is divided into nine rings from the Middle Ring (or Divine Truth), where the royal palace is, to the Warrior's Heart, the 9th ring made up of the poorest folk. Each ring closer to the center is wealthier than the one before. One of the main characters lives in the eighth ring, Skyward Eagle, and works with many poor and criminals to build a wall around the fifth ring, Everlasting Beauty, to protect the important and the rich. There is no rebellion because everyone lives for the emperor (a new emperor has recently come into power and has demanded the building of the wall) and accepts their fate, except a few "freedom fighters" led by the mysterious White Fox (another main character), a woman no one's ever seen, but fights against the emperor, who she believes is possessed by evil spirits, to free the lower class. I think it will be an interesting mix of Chinese and Western cultures, with maybe a hint of magic.

We passed many stone farmhouses, some in clusters, others standing on their own. Though they were obviously poor, it added inspiration for the story and I took a lot of photos.

Nancy and I took turns holding Ben: She held him in the ride out, I had him on the ride home.

We got lost. After we got off the highway, we (our driver, tour guide, Nancy, Ben, and I) drove in circles trying to find the orphanage. Seems they either changed the street names, built new roads, or the streets have no names (we were "where the streets have no names"). Interesting sights and more story fodder. Felt good to stretch my imagination as we drove around. After asking three people we finally pulled onto a tiny, muddy side street in the middle of a construction zone and found the orphanage.

Whatever we were told about the orphanage couldn't prepare us for the drab concrete and glass building. The courtyard was a few straggly trees and concrete with a couple of colorful yard toys (slide, swings). The stairs up to the second floor were bare cement and the whole place felt like an institution.

But when we met the staff and met the kids, we felt the love these people have for the children. They were all so excited to meet Ben, and we got to meet his favorite nanny, Gao Ping. We also met some of his friends and got some great photos of the kids.

Then we went to see the new orphanage, which turned out to be a social services set of buildings still under construction. It will be an orphanage as well as a senior home. I couldn't help but think they would round up the poor and bring them here. On one hand, they'd probably get better food and health care, on the other hand, they'd be consolidated in a state-run facility, left to spend the rest of their lives there.

We were tired after all that and decided to head back to Nanjing instead of finding lunch in the area. For some reason, our guide maintains the belief that we don't like Chinese food. Perhaps it came from the first night, when we went to several restaurants and couldn't find anything appealing to eat. Call me fussy, but I'm not into squid, eel, or pigeon, as delicious as they might be. I`m going to try to ask our guide where the Yig Noodle place is so we can get something different for dinner. Yes, I said Yig Noodle. You Cthulhu folks know what I'm talking about.

We played with Ben for a while, who's found his tickle spots. God, that kid's got the cutest smile and the best little laugh. Thank God there isn't a limited amount of cuteness handed out when kids are born, because as Ben's got so much cute in him, there'd be a lot of ugly kids out there! But I'm sure all parents say that.

Overall, I'm amazed at how well Ben's adjusted to being with us and very pleased he's taken to us as fast as he has. He's such a great kid.

Lastly, I've started a mix (of course) of baby songs, so if anyone knows any, please feel free to pass them along. So far I've got two: Beautiful Boy by John Lennon and When You Dream by Barenaked Ladies.

Well, it's late (12:51 am) and we're going to a local park tomorrow, so long as Ben's feeling well (you know he has a bit of a cold) and the weather's good.

Until next time…

Love, Joy, and Peace,
Gary . . .

we woke up to Ben coughing pretty hard today and it is all rainy and cold out so we decided it was the perfect day to stay inside,rest and play.

Currently Ben is learning how to use the camera with Gary. Maybe he will be a photojournalist?

Thank goodness for the breakfast buffet!
So crazy I was excited to see chicken curry this morning, yes for breakfast because I have learned you need to eat what you like when you find it what ever time that is...

Back to play time for me

Lovin' my china boy!!!!!!

Peace
Nancy

Sometimes you get what you ask for but don’t get what you expect.

Sometimes you get what you ask for but don’t get what you expect.

Today we took a trip to the orphanage and the place where they found our little boy when he was 1 week old. It was not as I had imagined it. The first floor of the teachers’ dormitory in the middle school turns out to be a lonely uncovered stairway in a back alley. I was in tears when I returned to the van. I had pictured his mother taking him some place where he would be protected from the elements and safe. Like a corridor on a bench in the school building. He was in the area of the teacher’s apartments so he would be found easily but not exactly as I had pictured this scene at all. I was so grateful he was placed with us and that we were taking him away from all of that.

The orphanage was not what I had expected either. Post modern building of concrete and wooden doors. There is a colorful playroom with toys, it even included therapy equipment, but the gardens or outside play area was basically concrete with a bare basketball hoop and a lonely slide. I would not have called this a garden. They are very proud of the institution and yes that is a good word for it. The rooms are clean and decorated for the children, the nannies were obviously in love with the kids and especially Ben. They all wanted to hold him and love him and play with him. I was nervous when they took him from my arms that he would think we were giving him back but he was ok. His little friend Huai Yang An is 2 ½ years old and has not been matched yet even though he is on the waiting child list. He had a tumor removed they tell me and is doing very well no problems. I do not know if this was a real Tumor or a growth of some kind, it was at the base of his spine sacral/buttock region as they showed me his healed scar when I asked where the tumor had been from. They could not elaborate on what type and my guide is very poor at asking questions and translating for me to them. She was having conversations with the staff and not telling me what was said and not telling them what I said even when I asked her to translate for me! Very frustrating as a nurse and mother wanting to express gratitude!!

Yes Karen I gave Yuan Yuan a hug and kiss and told her mama and baba are coming as soon as they can.

Did I mention the driver got lost once we were in Huai an? Yes they did not bother to let us know or explain as he was making u-turns in the middle of busy trafficked bridges. I am grateful to be here now! Remember China does not use car seats for children so I was holding Ben tightly and had seat belted both of us together. The guide and driver just kept talking/ arguing in Chinese and we had to ask what was going on, which we surmised without her after the third turn around. All I could think was we just drove 2 ½ hours and are paying for this car service, do not tell me they have the old address and we will not be able to see the orphanage now. I just kept giving it up to God as I had NO control in this situation. After 20 minutes or so they finally got us there. This was very nerve racking. It was a gated driveway into a concrete landscape that lacked for warmth.

The staff then decided to take us to the location of the new orphanage which will soon be the largest in the province connected to a senior housing project. It was an active construction site that left me very nervous to have a baby anywhere near but we did the ooh and ah over the new construction that appears massive. When asked if there was any supplies we could get for them our guide kept translating that cash was preferred because they know what they needed. Very disturbing that even after we had told her we did not want to give money she would not accept that or assist in arranging to forward gifts/donated toys cloths to the center when they brought the next child down to Nanjing. Another reason we were not pleased with this guide! We ended up giving some money with the intention that this would go to medicine for the children, I truly hope it does, Since she kept talking about money to them we felt we were not able to walk away without offering a donation without looking poorly.

By the time we were done there all I wanted to do was return to the hotel. We had packed energy bars and snacks as well as formula for Ben so we told her to forget about lunch out, esp when she again went - Oh you don’t like Chinese food(we had been eating nothing but since we arrived and I really had to restrain myself from saying something I’d regret)

Originally she had told us very few children are adopted from this province in south china because this area is richer. As we drove thru Huai an it became very clear that this was not a rich city and not at all the same city we saw on the internet when we researched the area. There was a lot of construction, and poor living condition in the older building areas. Today she said this was a poorer area and that this orphanage was low middle in rating. Why does it seem she contradicts herself all the time??? I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. She now called the area northern china???

On the way out it was a refreshing change to be in the country side. My soul sighed relief when we were out of the city. I am not a city living type of person my being craves the quiet of the suburbs. It was nice to see another side of china, for the last week we had only seen sky scrapers and a few ancient areas. I expected to see more pagodas and what one sees on travel shows about china which I am sadly missing. It was so interesting to see the contrast between city living and country living, quite the country mouse city, mouse scenario. We were able to see farm regions and oxen, goat, ducks, sheep, etc. Our guide said many Chinese people prefer the noise of the city and city living especially the young people.

On the way home I just wanted to get here! Ben’s breathing was getting worse and I could here the secretions in his airway which I could not suction due to erratic driving and fear of hurting him if a sudden move happened I might jabb him with the bulb syringe (one I had acquired from my old peds nursing work not the silly ones with the big end that barely lets you get to the base of a nare). He fell asleep and never got his afternoon bottle as lunch so he was tired cranky and hungry when he woke up. We started on cherios hoping it would be only a few more minutes left of the drive. Then we hit horrible rush hour traffic that just stopped dead! Poor Ben gaged on a cheerio and between the mucus and the cough and the cheerio, well you can imagine what happened next all over me and my coat and him. Good the mucus was out bad he felt rotten and I was covered. The guide unhelpful. Now I was getting beyond cranky and just wanted to be back “home”. We got to the hotel and she is calling his name loudly and stimulating him and irritating him after I had calmed him down. I walked away from her and told her to leave him alone. When we got to the room and I was putting him down she was trying to get him to stand on his feet and be active. He was tired and still felt lousy I took him back and comforted him. She says he only wants to be held. Well yeah when she is around and bugging him…ok I’m still a bit cranky from this episode so I’ll stop here before it gets worse.

Ben became playful after we were back a while and is fine. I suctioned his nose a few times and did some reiki and reflexology for him. He had some congii for dinner after some mashed up bananas to settle his tummy. He went to bed late for him and is out like a light now.

All and all we have much to add to his adoption story from going and since the new large orphanage will open next year if we had not done this he would not know what this place was like by the time we come back on a heritage tour 13 years from now.

I can hear the traffic on the main street below now and long for the quite of our real home.
1 ½ days to Guangzhou we can do this…

She is arranging a trip to a park that sounds lovely tomorrow I hope it is a much better day than today.

Peace and love
Nancy

Nancy's view

Yesterday was a whirlwind of emotions.

A few bumps with the guide and figuring out formula proportions from a package all in Chinese. I could however figure out the correct proportion of medicine from the Chinese powdered medicine he is on for his nose cold and yucky junky cough. Please God keep us from having to go to the hospital! Language is still an issue even with the room service last night.

We had a good night he is such a good baby!

Gary is head over heals in love and so am I.

They asked if we knew he was special needs and if we still wanted him, Gary said look at his face how could you say no. Hmmmm there might be problems then if that's the case but YES we want him!!! The little bump is small and barely noticeable we shall ask the doctor if it can be observed or has to be removed from his left temple. There is solid bone around it so I am fairly confident we are not looking at the worst case scenario mentioned by the international doctor.

He was clingy to me today when we had to go back to the same location for paperwork.
He was probably afraid we were going to leave him. Once we came back to the hotel room he settled in again and played. Even had a bottle and lunch before falling asleep in the stroller in the restaurant. He found his smile while we were out at the restaurant and became my giggling boy I saw in pictures for so many months.

Unfortunately I had to play mean nurse and wake him for medicine (he has a cold with a wicked cough when he is due for medicine) which caused heck getting him back down for nappers but he is settled now.
He can throw a good cry and arch quite well when he wants to.

Amazing how attitudes changed around here after we received a baby. Now they are nicer to us, even brought lunch so fast I thought we were in a different restaurant!
We were getting looks and felt unwanted yesterday.
So Glad we brought the computer which I use when he is napping or asleep for the night. I needed that connection to our world when things got rocky here.

He is curious and amazing I just love him already.

It’s taken me so long to write this that he is beginning to wake from his nap.

Tomorrow we will travel to the orphanage to visit and see where he has spent his 16 months before we have come to bring him to America. We may also be able to see where he was left by his parent safely to be found and brought to an orphanage. These we think are valuable pieces of his history we will be able to share with him when he gets older which will add to his adoption story.

Happy 16 month birthday Luo Rui

Love Mommy and Daddy (aka Mama and Baba)