March 30th Part 2: He’s 16 Months Old Today

The happy smile of a child can wash away all sadness and frustration. – Gary Frank March 30, 2010.

When Ben (currently Luo Rui) smiles at me he is the only thing that matters. If he’s smiling, the world is right. I have surprised myself with how quickly I’ve taken to this boy. I knew I would bond with him and all, but I thought Nancy would be numero uno, and I’d fall in after. Not so much.

Okay, so Nancy’s handling the medical, nurse, kid’s got a cold stuff, as well as the initial diaper changes, and I wind up being the consolating figure when Ben’s upset. But he’s getting used to the medicine dropper and getting his nose suctioned out. Kid snot is like super glue. He’s not crying as much. He is NOT into baths. Even standing in two inches of water set him off. I’m sure he’ll get used to it. At some point.

He was crying over something before and I picked him up and it was like a switch got flipped. One second crying, the next, calmness. Awesome, huh?

Does anyone have any idea what happens to a human heart when your 16 month old child looks up at you with his arms out-stretched? It is the power to make icebergs instantaneously melt. Blink. Gone. How do you not pick him up? You do. And then he clutches on to you with those little fingers like his whole world depends on you. Simply magnificent. Just as magnificent is his smile. It’s not just his mouth, but his whole face, and that smile radiates joy and love and security and comfort and trust.

We have him in a blue, feety PJ outfit with cartoon monkeys and bananas. You never think a human can be so freakin’ cute, but there he is, the human embodiment of cuteness.

Okay, reality check for those who think I’ve gone over the deep end. I know there will be times that his innate cuteness will save his life. That’s why God made him so cute, so later on, when he becomes Mr. Hyde to this cute Dr. Jekyll, we won’t . . . well, you parents know what I mean. And you know what, no matter how many parents told me one thing or another about what parenting is going to be like, in the end, it is a very unique experience that each parent goes through, filtered by their past and their emotions. Sure there are some common factors: diapers, teething, tantrums, etc., but then there are those times when everything people told me can’t prepare me for the experience. Just having him in our room is an amazing experience. I keep pausing and looking at him.

He napped too long and too late this afternoon, so getting him to sleep tonight was a bit of a challenge. He stood in the crib and pulled on the bars like a little criminal, and I laid him back down and told him to go to sleep in that lilting voice that’s so sweet as if we can lull the boy to sleep land just by speaking. He gave me the smile. I told him it wasn’t working and to go to sleep. A little less lilt, a little more parent. He got up again. It’s time to go to sleep. Less lilt. He looked curiously at me. What’s that tone? Never heard that before. Neither one of us have heard that tone. Parent tone. I laid him down and he sort of shuffled around, made some disgruntled noises, but eventually fell asleep. I never had to pull out the next repeat: Gotosleep. One word, no lilt, quick and somewhat sharp. Commanding, parental, authoritative. Or the final repeat: Go. To. Sleep. Now. No lilt, sharp, punctuated words so he understands the full implications of the tone. I can guarantee, cute little Ben will hear those words in those tones at some point in his life. We all do.

Tomorrow we’re going to visit his orphanage and hopefully, he won’t freak out too much, thinking that we’re bringing him back. But Nancy wanted to visit and meet his nanny, so we’re going. Five hour round trip and we have to pay for the van for the day. I think it should be pretty cool to see China between Nanjing and Huai’an.

Thursday is a free day and Friday is picking up his Visa and heading to Guangzhou for the final paperworks before we head home on the 9th!

I guess that’s all from here, reporting live from Nanjing, it’s Gary (the new dad), and his sleeping family, wishing you hope, peace, and joy.

Gary . . .

P.S.: If anyone’s planning to bring us take-out when we get home, a piece of advice: No. More. Fried. Rice. Evah.